A LIKELY STORY: IMAGE OF POLITICIANS MAY EXPLAIN APATHY

It would be one thing if their nasty image was unwarranted, but a politician's image often doesn't stray far from the reality.

Among friends, the topic of running for elected office came up yesterday. It came about, obviously, because it was the day before the "most important election of our lives." At least that's what politicians are calling it.

I'm not sure why today's election is any more important than the one four, eight or even 12 years ago. Some of the candidates' faces have changed so I suppose it's more important to them.

I suspect it is especially important if we intend to vote for whichever candidate is calling it "the most important election of our lives." Maybe it's the sixth or seventh most important election of our lives if we intend to vote for the other guy. More likely not important at all.

Specifically, the topic of yesterday's conversation was why none of us would ever consider running for any office. The conversation was academic more than anything else; few people really consider running for elected office anymore, do they?

The answers why not were interesting.

"I couldn't be mean enough in the campaign," one woman said.

"What are you, kidding? I have integrity."

"I couldn't lie to people."

"I've got several felony convictions."

Upon getting weird looks, that guy sheepishly said he thought we were talking about reasons TO be a politician.

While of course I'm joking, within that joke hides one of the difficulties. These answers just confirm what everyone already knows: Politicians have a nasty image, maybe even more so than journalists.

Most of us see politicians as greedy, corrupt, self-serving, egotistical crooks. And as the old line goes, those are their good qualities.

Who wants to vote for someone who fits that description? Not me. And not most people.

Where does that image come from? Reality.

While I'm sure there are many fine, upstanding people who devote their lives to public service, too many of them turn out to be crooks or creeps.

There are too many to name them all so let's focus on the bipartisan highlights: Richard Nixon, the big guy, had Watergate; Bob Packwood couldn't keep his mitts off the honeys; Bob Griffin may have needed the cash more than he cared about integrity; JFK liked SEX with women other than his wife.

Now Bill Clinton, who I had such high hopes for four years ago, seems to have a little bit of all of that rolled into one roundish Arkansas package. (That's why I'm a pro-choice, anti-gun moderate who will proudly cast a vote for Bob Dole later today.)

I've read that just a little over half of eligible voters will take the time today to venture out to the polls and vote. Political pundits constantly ponder why people don't vote.

I think I've figured out why. We don't like any of the choices. And I think I also know why most of us don't go into politics.

Fortunately, we're not qualified.

~Scott Moyers is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.