A LIKELY STORY: FEMINISM FROM A MASCULINE PERSPECTIVE

As it happens when you put more than two women in the same place, the topic of feminism came up. It began with the two women talking about the injustices they had personally encountered at the hands of sexist men.

Throughout horror stories of bosses making passes and salary inequity, I remained curiously silent.

When the conversation turned from the specific to the general I was tempted to voice my opinion, which was in full agreement.

But I didn't.

I contented myself to listening to the restatement of the problem. It's an age-old and often discussed dilemma: Women have been oppressed by men for eons and still don't get the equality from men that they deserve, neither in the workplace nor in the home.

Women working in the same job as men don't make equitable salaries. I read a report the other day that a female college professor only makes three-fourths that which a male college professor makes.

Women are still treated as objects instead of individuals by many men, something that they feel, rightly so, is demeaning and dismisses their more important qualities.

And it's not fair. Of that there can be no debate.

My hesitance to enter the discussion stemmed from women's attitudes toward men and feminism.

I have noticed that women tend to be a bit defensive when talking to men about this delicate matter. Even the best of men are secretly against feminism, many women believe.

We talk the talk but we don't walk the walk and find time to watch women's legs while they walk away.

Or maybe they think men are just protective of their turf like some stray dog guarding a trash can full of rotted meat. We don't want to divide the pie equally because that would mean less for us.

Anyway, a man's opinion doesn't really matter much when it comes to feminism, does it? After all, how could a man really understand?

Having said that, now I'd like to share a few of my personal perceptions and questions in regards to feminism, which may sound a little like sexist remarks.

Nonetheless, here they are:

-- How come feminism can't seem to gain any ground in the restaurant? I've never had to fight any liberated women to pay the check. Forget equality here.

-- Restaurants actually have two strikes against them in the equality department. But they're not alone here. A lot of places have "ladies night" where those of the female persuasion are treated to economical discounts solely because of their sex. The one good thing is, since women aren't paying to begin with, men do save a little money on these nights.

-- What about the military? Women want to be able to join the military, but how do they feel about the fact that women can't be drafted? You don't hear of any bra burnings because of this. They want the option but not the requirements. And when they do join, how about making the physical standards the same? Doesn't exactly sound fair to me. Not quite equal.

-- Chivalry? Is it apropos anymore? Do we open the door for women? Do we pull out their chair for them? And if feminism (equality) applies here, how come no woman attempts to open the door for me?

While many of my comments are obviously sarcastic and only meant to poke fun at feminists' ever-increasingly defensiveness about an issue that has (though they'd never admit this) gained much ground, surely someone has already picked up the phone to take me to task on Speak Out.

That's too bad. I think the actual solution involves communication, or at least understanding by both sides. And what's wrong with a little humor?

After all, whether one is a man or a woman, nobody's perfect.

Scott Moyers is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.