A DAY IN THE LIFE: I'M ENGAGED?

With the coming of spring comes the realization that my life as a bachelor is about to end.

Sorry girls, it's official -- I'm engaged.

Regular readers know that I've actually been engaged since last July. But I must admit (only to you, Dear Reader (never to my delicate flower), that the betrothal never seemed quite real, not altogether concrete. In my mind, the fact that I was getting married seemed vague and hard to understand, like lyrics to a Jimmy Hendrix song.

Allow me to explain.

When we first got engaged, there was no ring, simply a decision and a commitment to a day over a year away. It felt sort of like a follow-up dental appointment, I slid the marital "appointment card" in my wallet along with my drivers license and Sub Club card.

No need to think about that right then, was there?

Then, when I got the ring on her finger, it felt a little more definite, yet still a bit opaque and obscure. "Well," I thought, "maybe I'd better start thinking about the marriage."

But I didn't.

And I never really thought that much about our marriage. I knew that it was coming, but only in the sense that I knew Armageddon was coming -- and I figured I'd just avoid thinking about both of them it until the time came.

And Lori's been pretty much the sole manager of the actual wedding-day plans. She told me all I have to do is show up.

So I didn't really HAVE to think about it. And it never really sank in, not really.

Until now.

Two things happened last weekend that sent it all to the forefront, causing my marriage to seem imminent and immediate, all too real, very certain, even more so than proverbial death and taxes.

First, as you can see, we had our engagement pictures taken for the "Engagement" section of the Southeast Missourian.

Please forgive the self-indulgant act of running them in this space also. I figured I wrote so much about Lori that you should know that I'm not lieing when I say I'm the pretty one. (Yeah, right.)

Anyway, it wasn't the actual taking of the pictures that caused our distant marriage to transform into an impending one. But seeing that picture, to me, made it real.

After all, it's in the newspaper, along with factual information on presidential primaries, crime, death and Speak Out. It has to be true if it's in the newspapers, right?

But that in and of itself wouldn't be enough to cause me to accept the finality of our wedding, though.

We actually found a house -- a big house with a large back yard to mow. (I wonder how Lori will find the time to do that and still have my meals ready by the time I get home from work?)

Looking at that big house really brought it all home. That's it. It's over. I'm getting married. Say goodbye to freedom, identity and individuality. Not to mention my hobbies; leaving my clothes on the floor, TV dinners, week-old socks, C-Span, Dave Letterman and certain movies that come on after midnight.

Oh well. It's not so bad.

In all seriousness, though, I think getting married will be one of the best things that ever happened to me. I've managed to avoid the real world long enough and it's time I settled down.

And those aren't even the real reasons I'm getting married. Call me old fashioned, but I'm in love. And I couldn't imagine a life without Lori.

I may complain about all the things I'm losing, but when I think about what I'm getting, I know I'm coming out ahead.

~Scott Moyers is the editor of the Jackson USA Signal.