Three signs you're a political drug addict

Some people are clueless about politics, which is ill-advised; not long ago, I was one of those people. Some stay informed about politics, which is wise. And some smoke politics like an addict smokes weed, which is downright scary. That last group merits attention.

How do we identify those politically strung-out folks? They expose themselves through social media and conversation. Their posts are filled with political sarcasm, links to political websites, arguments with political dissenters. See a pattern? Everything is about politics -- and they usually think themselves quite clever. They're not. What they are is scary.

Are you one of them? When you look in the mirror, do the eyes you see belong to someone in need of intervention -- shock therapy, detox, maybe? Here are three signs that reveal you need help. Be honest with yourself, even if you won't be honest with me:

1. No matter the topic, you turn it into politics: Someone posts a totally nonpolitical status on social media. It could be something like, "The house party was so packed, every bathroom was occupied, even the one off the master bedroom." You comment, "Maybe Hillary's email server was hiding in there." You pat yourself on the back; you'd been waiting to use that one.

Your friend says, "I want to put up a fence in my yard to keep the neighbor's dog from trampling my flower bed. But it's going to cost me a pretty penny, I'm sure." You respond, "Why not just get Mexico to pay for it?"

This one really takes talent: Someone mentions that she has the best hopes for her daughter, who is looking for a new job. The political drug addict comes back with, "It doesn't matter. When the Dems get in full power, with all that free stuff they plan to give away, she won't have to work anyway!" Oy vey!

People like this make a political statement out of every single thing because all they think about are politics, which is sad, sick and quite annoying -- no matter which side of the aisle it comes from.

2. You won't read an article if the headline is positive: You're not interested in anything that might be encouraging. In fact, you read the headline, and if it's not about political drama or some tragedy -- they're twins! -- you keep scrolling. You only want to read something depressing, fraught with one political party fighting the other or some other similar controversy. Your comments on political posts suggest you want the world to right itself -- because you've confused yourself enough to think you do -- but you don't. Clearly, you want nothing to do with anything that highlights positivity. Not only does encouraging news fail to hold your attention; it fails to even capture your attention. All you want to do is fight -- about illegal immigration, Antifa intimidation, confederate statue desecration, any and all of it; you just want to battle. You say you want a happy existence, but you won't read anything promising. Your definition of happiness is being miserable. And the best way to be miserable, of course, is to be wholly political.

How is it that the people who are so active in condemning the wrong things aren't even interested in the right things or anything that might actually bring a smile to their faces? Political druggies.

3. You decide to disagree based on reading a byline alone: You are the most strung out of all. You approach my column every week and, no matter what, find a reason to battle. When there isn't one, you're sorely displeased, so you create one. For example, I write a column about how important it is to communicate, and you pick a fight about a subject -- political, of course -- that I should have written about instead because, well, you don't disagree with anything I wrote in the article, but, you know, your political "habit" won't allow you to agree with anything I actually wrote -- even when you do agree. If it were not for that doggone byline! You're a slave to your political party.

Politics have a place. Disagreements have a place. But decency, humanity and just plain common sense should have a larger place. When your mind is twisted and you can't think straight, when you have zero interest in anything that would lift you up because you always want to throw down, you need help. Y'all some scary folks. It's easy to become one of those, too, and the only answer is to rail against it. No matter our political persuasion, can we agree, at least, on that?

There's hope, but not everyone wants to change, so countdown to the onslaught. In a moment, the political drug addicts will regurgitate a comment about "Drumpf" or "Demoncrats" or some other nonsense they've ingested and must exhale. Half the battle with addiction, as we know, is acknowledging there's a problem, so if the shoe fits, take that step.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member.