THOMAS CASE MAY MARK END OF DISCOURSE

At times I have wondered if I were a good American. In particular, while traveling abroad, fielding questions about our economic structure, political system, social institutions, cultural spirit and more, I tried to give my honest and sincere perspective on this country. This perspective included summarizing trends of thought other than my own, so those who spoke with me might at least receive a hint of the tremendous diversity of discourse in America.

I did not sugarcoat situations, nor did I alter other perspectives to align with mine. I even explained that my opinion on certain issues, reached after lengthy and agonizing deliberation, was still characterized by doubts.

Although I was proud to be well-read and informed, I realized that I was a young man with much to learn. And I was fallible.

Eventually, as always, this recognition of experiential limits and fallibility led me to further self-doubts. Was I a good American? Because I described this country not only by its splendor and bounty but by its warts and stink as well was there something unpatriotic about me?

I suppose to some people I was unpatriotic. To others, maybe not. Ultimately, it didn't matter. Other people's opinions cannot answer the questions I ask myself. They cannot silence my inner torment. With this, as with so many other issues more difficult issues like abortion, capital punishment, pornography and AIDS testing I must be able to live with my conscience, not someone else's.

And so I realized, unless I am honest with myself, I would be buffeted by self-incrimination, and all else would be a sham. In such a world, patriotism does not exist, or; it is just a word hollow. Meaningless.

Today, I wonder not whether I am a good or bad American. Rather, I wonder, is America good?

I am wondering this, I am disillusioned today, I am bitter and sad, because I watched Democratic Senator after Democratic Senator shamefully destroy a human being yesterday. I also watched, further disillusioned, as a President, who battles and cries to be seen as a leader, watched silently by.

A charge of sexual harassment is a serious matter. And, because it has been maliciously and manipulatively fed to the press, Judge Clarence Thomas and Professor Anita Hill must speak to the case. Too much is at stake for them not to testify in public (and by this I am not referring merely to a seat on the Supreme Court. I am referring more to Judge Thomas' life reputation, the issue and categorizing of sexual harassment, the conflagration of political smear campaigns, the horrible transgression of Senate rules and human decency, and the demise of civilized discourse).

Some including Senators John Danforth of Missouri and Orrin Hatch of Utah have spoken forcibly that the immediate charge of sexual harassment has already been addressed. It has already been investigated. And the only right and fair thing for the Senate to have done was for it to confirm Clarence Thomas, as it intended, rebuking the slanderous charge as insufficient, incomplete and unlikely, as the Senate Judiciary Committee and FBI had already done.

Alas, Mr. Danforth and Mr. Hatch, it did not happen your way. Nor, since it was so cruelly worked through the press, should the Senate have voted on Tuesday like you wanted.

What the Senate and I do not apologize for specifically condemning the Democratic leadership in this also should not have done, however, was to deny that it was political posturing and political posturing alone that drove (and drives) their words and actions. These Democratic leaders don't care about Judge Thomas and his family; that is obvious. By the looks of it, they also don't care much for Anita Hill's dignity. Indeed, the barbaric extremes these Senators and their staff will go to keep Clarence Thomas off the court forces me even to wonder how much these men care for the very foundations of their country.

I lament, what has "the great deliberative body" done to civilized and honest discourse in the United States, which there must be if democracy is to endure and thrive? Democrats and Republicans alike, is this the reaping of Willie Horton and John Tower, which was sowed by Borking, which originated in the sinkholes of political interest groups and the seeking of legislative godhead? If so, when will it stop? Or does Senator Danforth alone have a conscience in Washington?

I feel sorry for all of us. Clarence Thomas is being crucified. Anita Hill is being used. And America is sinking in lies.