The other side of surrogacy

Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg tweeted a photo from a hospital bed in August 2021. He and his husband, Chasten, were fully dressed, holding their new twins. The human response is to wish them all the best. At the same time, it can't be forgotten that there is someone missing from the photo. We, as a culture, can't erase the birth mother. And yet we do.

Around Thanksgiving, a minor controversy arose in conservative circles. Commentator Guy Benson, who is in a same-sex marriage, similarly announced the birth of a child. Buttigieg, as far as I know, never made clear if his twins were adopted or from a surrogate. Benson, on the other hand, was open about surrogacy. He made an announcement on social media, and, in response, received congratulations and an avalanche of questions about the morality of surrogacy.

Social media is probably the worst place to have such a debate, unfortunately. But such announcements should give us pause. Is it right to make babies by all means available to us? Especially when we have children in foster care in the United States?

It's not a judgment on couples who have chosen surrogacy to ask these questions; it's just good moral sense as our medical abilities become more advanced.

Pope Francis recently spoke against surrogacy, surprising many. But his stance shouldn't come as a shock: He has consistently opposed attacks on innocent human life and been intent on lifting up women and mothers.

He emphasized: "I deem deplorable the practice of so-called surrogate motherhood, which represents a grave violation of the dignity of the woman and the child, based on the exploitation of situations of the mother's material needs. A child is always a gift and never the basis of a commercial contract."

Jennifer Lahl at the Center for Bioethics and Culture has devoted years to telling the story of women "commodified" by surrogacy. "Like egg donation, surrogacy is harmful to both the woman who carries the child and to the child," Lahl has written. "The health risks to the woman, who must take powerful synthetic hormones to prepare her body to accept an embryo, are real and serious." There's also this reality for the other family members involved: "Most surrogacy requires that the surrogate mother already have children as proof that she is able to carry a child to term. However, no one has done any studies on these existing children who observe their mothers keeping some babies and giving others away." She adds: "The message surrogacy sends to these children seems both clear and dangerous: Mommy keeps some of her babies, and mommy gives some of her babies away to nice people who can't have babies of their own. And often mommy is paid to do this."

This January, many thousands of us are headed to Washington, D.C., for the March for Life, an opportunity for pro-life activists and supporters to gather and celebrate. "With Every Woman, For Every Child" is the theme this year. The point is that the pro-life movement wants to walk with anyone who feels fear, confusion and desperation as they are faced with the prospect of new life. That includes the woman who has been exploited by surrogacy, with the best intentions of all involved. Also, any woman who has had an abortion.

There is judgment-free healing to be had. And it certainly includes any woman pregnant and afraid right now.

klopez@nationalreview.com