The long haul of love

We cannot live without mothers.

That seems like it should be an obvious point. But we have examples in recent culture and politics that suggest otherwise. The vice president of the United States recently visited an abortion clinic. As much as the issue of abortion has been important to the Democratic Party, no president or vice president had previously made such a visit. At his own abortion-rights rally, our Catholic president made the sign of the cross, as if to call upon God’s blessings for more abortions.

America’s women deserve better.

And this isn’t a partisan matter. We are facing another presidential election that most people aren’t happy about. As someone who considers abortion to be the human-rights issue of our time, having Donald Trump associated with the end of Roe v. Wade isn’t what I’d hoped and prayed for.

There’s a chapel in New York City next to an abortion clinic. Often, pro-life ministries try to set up shop next to abortion clinics in the hope of offering a mother a better choice. Women — and girls — often feel coerced into abortion, and these are opportunities to take a breath and consider if there are options other than ending the life of their developing child.

One day, I spent some time outside this abortion clinic praying and giving sidewalk counsel. I’m not the best at either of those things, but sometimes there is no one to offer a smile and a sign of hope that a young woman or girl might be desperate for. For hours, I saw young women entering the clinic who looked despondent. It was cold, and some of their boyfriends didn’t even get out of their cars to accompany the women into the building. What are we teaching our young men about love and responsibility? That’s not a religious or political question, but it’s one that should be addressed.

Next door in the chapel, there were some young missionaries with the Fellowship of Catholic University Students (FOCUS). These young people were helping with campus ministry at secular campuses in the city — Columbia and New York University. (That’s become a more intense mission in recent month and weeks.) Knowing they were already in a prayerful mode, I shared with them the pain that was on display on the other side of the block. I begged them to pray for everyone suffering. The most intimate issues shouldn’t be left to politics, and those of us who pray must take that mandate seriously.

One of these missionaries said a prayer I had never considered myself, even as a cradle Catholic. He prayed that Mary would appear on the other side of the street. It’s not the craziest idea ever — there have been reports of the mother of Jesus appearing in Fatima in Portugal to shepherd children and Lourdes, France — a place of tremendous healing — and Guadalupe, Mexico, a catalyst for tremendous conversion to Christianity. The prayer was earnest and loving.

What those FOCUS missionaries were praying for was for a restoration of motherhood. And whether or not you are a Christian believer, there is something about Mary and the Holy Family that could unite us. A virgin and mother. A Jew. The mother of Christ. If you go to Ephesus in Turkey, you will see Muslim guards watching over the pilgrimage site where it is believed she lived with the Apostle John after Jesus’s crucifixion (and resurrection). It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed. There’s a reverence in common. And after the end of Roe v. Wade, I hear women begging for us to come together.

In more recent days, I’ve talked to people starting clinics and thrift stores for moms in their churches. People want to help. And women want to be helped. Politics suggests easy answers, but the truth is, women and families need the long haul of love, and that will require work and prayer.