THE GRACE AND DIGNITY OF CARDINAL JOSEPH BERNADIN

How many of us could have handled an accusation of sexual abuse with the grace and dignity the Roman Catholic archbishop of Chicago, Cardinal Joseph Bernardin, did since being accused in a lawsuit Nov. 12? And how many of us could have extended the compassion to our accuser that Bernardin did throughout the ordeal, knowing the accuser was wrong?

We dare say few people could have weathered the sorrowful storm the archbishop went through with the largeness of spirit he did. A lesson is to be learned from it by all.

Steven Cook, 34, of Philadelphia, who is dying of AIDS, had accused Bernardin and the Rev. Ellis Harsham of sexually abusing him from 1975 to 1977 when he was a high school student attending a program at a Cincinnati seminary. Harsham is a priest who served in Cincinnati when Bernardin was there as archbishop.

Cook sued Bernardin, claiming that the priest who was the object of his original lawsuit "delivered" him to the quarters of then-Archbishop Bernardin, who also abused him. Cook also accuses the Archdiocese of Cincinnati and archdiocesan officials, including current Archbishop Daniel Pilarczyk, of negligence for allowing the abuse.

The $10 million lawsuit, filed in Cincinnati, said Cook waited more than 15 years to make the allegations because he had repressed memories of the sexual abuse. Cook claims that only recently, under hypnosis, did he recall the abuse.

But in his statement that led to the dropping of the charges against Bernardin, Cook said, "I now realize that the memories which arose during and after hypnosis are unreliable." Lawyers for Cook and Bernardin told U.S. District Judge S. Arthur Spiegel in Cincinnati Monday that Cook voluntarily dropped the charges and was offered nothing by Bernardin.

The accusations against the other defendants remain. A trial date of May 9 has been set.

Cook is a substance abuse counselor who left his job at a psychiatric hospital in February 1993. He said his problems of alcohol, drug and sex addiction began after he left the Cincinnati seminary. He tested positive for HIV in 1990.

Bernardin's exemplary actions began soon after he was named in the suit. The archbishop wrote Cook a letter, offering to pray with him. The letter went unanswered. In maintaining his innocence, Bernardin said Cook obviously is a troubled man, whom he would like to help.

With heartfelt understanding, Bernardin told reporters upon his dismissal from the suit that he harbors no hard feelings toward Cook. He said he has prayed for him every day and will continue to do so. He said his offer to meet with him personally to pray still stands.

Ironically, in Chicago Bernardin is considered a pioneer in forcing the church to deal with sexual abuse by its clergy. That recently has become a problem in a number of major archdioceses around the nation, but it would be unreasonable to assume any clergyman accused of sexual abuse is guilty simply upon the basis of an allegation. The Bernardin case serves to prove that to be true.

Unfortunately, society often is guilty of snap judgments, and it didn't take long for Bernardin to realize it. He said he was "concerned about the almost instantaneous judgment by some ... even before I had a chance to respond."

Bernardin said the experience strengthened his resolve to reach out to victims of sexual abuse, just as he has still offered to do for Cook.

Knowing the accusation was false, the archbishop contended all along that the truth would be known and that justice would prevail. They did, but only after what had to be an agonizing three months for the archbishop. His courage and compassion should serve as an example to all of us.