Slaying cyber sissies

Isn't it interesting just how brave people hiding behind their computers can be? I mean, there's just no cause they won't stand up for and no person they won't take down with their words -- as long as they have that screen to guard them and no one to challenge them. The problem for them is if you do challenge them, cowards turn tail and run.

I received a comment on an article I posted on my Facebook business page two weeks ago, "In Search of Sarah Palin." I received a lot of positive feedback about it on my personal Facebook page and at my Southeast Missourian email address. Palin herself posted the link on her own Facebook page and Twitter account.

Late to the party, someone whose comments have surprisingly -- not at all! -- disappeared jumped on in recent days to call my article "bullsh*t." The insult accompanied no explanation of why it was such. Just, you know, the insult. I do not always do so, but I decided to engage him.

I replied that I was grateful for his "kind" response, stated that I was being sarcastic, and told him I usually prefer to disagree respectfully because that's what adults do. I also said it adds credibility when people back up their assertions with facts, rather than simply hurling insults.

Having been called out, he returned and said "fools" like me usually aren't interested in facts, so he wasn't going to waste his breath. I'm bilingual; in addition to English, I understand Nonsense, so I'll translate: "Um, I got nothing, so I'm going to pretend you're the one with the problem." Folks without a bite, yet looking for a fight, display this type of irrational behavior. I mean, if I'm a fool, I was a fool before his first comment, yet he wasn't concerned about breath conservation then -- not until he was challenged. Then, all of a sudden, I'm a waste of breath.

My tactic in my second reply was to be kind again and tell him I was open to being swayed if he had something of value to share. I told him that I annoy people on both sides of the political aisle because, if nothing else, I'm fair -- so, as intelligent folks are wont to do, I call out whatever party needs to be called out. Again, I extended the invitation for him to share with me what I needed to know and told him I was open to hearing from him. You'd think someone so bold as to call someone's thoughts bullsh*t and call that person a fool would seize on the opportunity to present his case. But no; he was disarmed and was left with nothing. Well, actually, he had nothing to begin with but hoped I wouldn't notice. I noticed. He never returned to talk.

I've been harping lately on what people allow politics to do to them, and this is another example. These empty partisans take to insults, expecting a cyber fight, but when a soft, reasonable answer comes -- one that invites healthy debate and even states a willingness to be swayed -- they disappear. One would think if they truly thought their principles were worth promulgating, they would engage beyond rudeness. But cowards take off running -- tail tucked -- and as I can no longer find his comments, I suppose he took his comments with him. But then again, Facebook could be hiding them. Facebook has a habit of doing a little turn tail and running also, so who knows?

What I know is that this is a lesson for us. The Bible in Proverbs 15:1 says, "A soft answer turns away wrath." My soft answer did just that. Sure, there will always be folks who cannot be reasoned with, but then, you have situations like this. This was just too easy -- so easy it wasn't even fair to him! Here's the thing: Often, we fight fire with fire, and most of the time, it's pointless because people like this guy like to drop by, throw an insult, and then ruin your day with their unkindness. They could have kept scrolling, but as we said back in the day, "That would be too much like right," so they attempt to lure you into fighting, angering you and sapping your energy. Much of what they say should just be ignored. I mean, weigh it: Is it worth it? But every once in a while, challenge them -- with a kindness they cannot handle, with an invitation for them to present their case, with a call to decency. . Perhaps, unlike this guy, they'll return with something of value to share in a respectful way, even if they disagree with you, or perhaps they'll choose to remain uninformed and decide not to step to you again. Either way, you win -- and it's kinda, sorta fun slaying cyber sissies.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member. Contact her at aross@semissourian.com.