Remaining thankful beyond the holiday feast

Most find it easy to be thankful on Thanksgiving, and I hope you found that to be so last Thursday. Surrounded by family, friends, and food, we feel the warmth of the day, the kindness of strangers, the joy of the fast-approaching Christmas season. Something about the day puts a smile on our faces and makes it effortless when it's our turn at the table to cite reasons for being thankful.

But what about the next day -- and the next?

Thankfulness is not a one-day affair or a one-night stand. It should remain. But many feel empty when the fourth Thursday in November rolls into just another Friday. How do we maintain an attitude of gratitude? Many people will tell you that after a day of great joy, they experience a letdown, a drop, a chasm in the pit of their being.

I've been there -- from the highest high to the lowest low, just that fast. But I've learned it doesn't have to be. We can have Thanksgiving every day. It doesn't come naturally, however. It comes through intentionality. In fact, I find most things -- if not all things -- occur through intentionality.

Thankfulness and joy are not feelings. They're not holidays, either. They're decisions -- decisions we get to make. So if we want to remain thankful beyond the turkey, mashed potatoes and corn -- or, in my culture, past the turkey, sweet potato casserole and baked macaroni and cheese -- we must choose to be thankful. We must choose to set our focus on reasons to be thankful.

A Bible passage, Colossians 3:15-17 says, "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful."

Notice that it says to "be thankful." That means that thankfulness is not something that happens to us; it's not passive. Rather, it's something we decide to do. We actively engage in the behavior of thanksgiving.

I have heard people wonder about those who always seem to be joyful, who just seem to find the positive in everything. They see them as "lucky," people who have "not a care in the world, folks who "catch all the breaks." What they fail to see is that this is not always the case. We would be surprised to learn what some have gone through and are going through. Remaining thankful is not for the weak. It's not for those who let life happen to them and just respond accordingly. No, thankfulness requires a fight. We have to battle to remain thankful, to maintain joy. We have to "be thankful."

I've known people who say they are lonely, but when invited, they won't go anywhere. They "don't feel like it." I've known people who feast on negativity, brushing aside anything positive you point out. They have become so familiar with pessimism, they're not happy without it and drag it wherever they go, like Linus's blanket. But people who have some fight in them will do what they must to be thankful, to be joyful, and then guard it. Once a year at the end of November isn't enough for them. They are defiant in their pursuit of joy. They're willing to take steps -- because, again, we're talking about a choice, not a feeling. The feeling follows the choice, so if we're waiting for the reverse, most often, we will be disappointed.

That Scripture in Colossians also declares, "Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord."

The last thing an unthankful person wants to do is sing. Do it anyway. Remember: Be defiant! It's no accident that verse mentions both peace and thankfulness. They're soulmates, so whatever it takes for you to maintain your thankfulness, be a willing participant, and peace will come.

Life's circumstances make it easy to be anything but thankful: family pressures, threats of terrorism, political dissension. There is much that would consume us if we allowed it. But we must not. I've been encouraging others and myself to write down things that speak truth and joy to situations where they are needed. For me, that means Bible verses, and I encourage you to do that also. Add to that positive quotes, if you want. Look them up, write them down and post them around your home. Put them in your car and wherever else you frequent so you can see them constantly. Our peace, our joy, our thankfulness are worth it -- and require us to cultivate and maintain the gifts our Creator has given us. We can do this with His help, even in times of difficulty -- and that's when we need it most.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member. Contact her at aross@semissourian.com.