PORCH and its mission to rebuild a community

You ever miss the good old days? You know, the days when folks sat out on their front porches drinking lemonade, or whatever they had in those glasses, talking to neighbors and laughing. I was reminded on Friday how precious -- and far-gone -- those times are and how needed they are now.

I attended the Cape Chamber meeting in which a pair presented a program designed to add value to the community -- to pour into children, restore brokenness and build up the old waste places, literally and figuratively. The two presenters and the organization they represent long to make a difference that will destroy generational poverty and rescue victims from its grasp.

They introduced us to PORCH, an acronym for People Organized to Revitalize Community Healing, which struck a chord with me and grabbed the attention of all in the room. It was their passion that drew us in, yes, but it was more than that. I think most of us there could remember a simpler time, a safer place, a friendlier, more family-oriented space. Where did all of that go and when, and how will the organization address it?

Growing up, neighbors crossed the street to talk outside or invite one another inside. The men would stand around talking about cars or baseball or work -- anything. The ladies talked about the kids, recipes or their jobs as well. We kids played kickball even until after the summer dark settled in as long as adults were nearby, abuzz with chitchat; we were safe. When they called it a night, so did we. We came inside and got cleaned up; it was a great way to end the day. We were worn out because our days were full of activity. We expended our energy racing, running and relationship-building. Sitting around with a phone in our hands was unthinkable. We did stuff instead.

OK, let me be honest about what kids did not like back then: the fact that any adult your family trusted was also considered family and could reprimand you. Do you remember those times? Those folks were basically spies who told on you in a heartbeat and told you to sit your tail down if you got out of line. They had permission to take a switch to that tail also. I didn't like it as a child, but as an adult, I wonder where those times went. This, too, was discussed during Friday's meeting. Nowadays, war breaks out if someone just looks at a person's child cross-eyed. Parents take teachers to the woodshed for correcting their children. "Who are you to talk to my child that way?" I'm not sure how we got to this place, but we're here. Does anyone remember when this shift occurred? Parents began fighting adults on their kids' behalf, which has done those young people a disservice. They have seen their parents defend their indefensible behavior, which has only encouraged rotten behavior. "I'm gonna tell my momma, and you'll be sorry!" I would never have dreamed of telling Momma anything -- and I prayed Mrs. Big Mouth didn't tell, either, because that would have been twice the trouble. Mrs. Big Mouth's rebuke was just the prelude to Momma's -- or Auntie's -- more painful rebuke. Family wasn't limited to blood. People partnered to protect children and were willing to risk being "hated" by them because they loved them. Neighbors cultivated community, and while there were exceptions, much of this resulted in safer neighborhoods, stronger communities and brighter futures.

Learning about PORCH took me back to a time that would appear to be science fiction to most young people today. I don't know when we lost it, but I commend the effort to recapture it and to ensure that today's kids -- young and old alike -- experience the benefits of it.

What about you? What has been lost that you wish you could get back -- or are your neighborhoods friendly, trusting "families" even today?

To learn more about PORCH, visit www.capeporch.org.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member. Contact her at aross@semissourian.com.