Our children need our protection

By Tammy Gwaltney

In the last few weeks there have been several stories in the news media detailing the recent kidnapping, sexual abuse and murder of children in this country. Also this summer stories of sexual abuse by church leaders have dominated our news media. These events are absolutely horrifying and bring all of us a sense of fear about how to protect children.

What is important to understand is that random child abductions and child sexual abuse by strangers is not the norm. Children are most often abducted by someone they know and are abused at the hands of those who have access to them. Children are not commonly abused by strangers.

According to the Center for Missing and Exploited Children, telling children to be weary of strangers is "neither effective nor the best advice. Stranger isn't a concept children easily understand. Instead, children should be taught to look out for threatening behaviors and situations."

According to the data from the U.S. Department of Justices, a 1990 report revealed that there were 354,100 children in this country reported as missing who abductors were family members.

Comparatively, 3,200 children were classified as missing as a result of abductions by non-family members.

All missing children are important. Who abducted them or why is irrelevant. What is important is finding them and safely returning them to their loved ones.

Protecting children should be the No. 1 priority for all of us. Whether we are parents, teachers, police officers, politicians, homemakers or truck drivers, we must all make the protection of children paramount.

I am most intrigued by all the talk these days about the need for funding and bureaucratic reorganization of federal offices to provide homeland security. While this is extremely important in light of the Sept. 11 tragedy, I often ask, "Where is the homeland security in the homes of our children?" Where is the security from physical abuse, sexual abuse, child pornography, homelessness, malnutrition and neglect?

Many of our nation's children and the children right here in Southeast Missouri need secure and safe homes. What national effort is under way to study how best to protect children? Are national financial resources being developed and deployed to protect our most vulnerable citizens?

Every day in my professional life I talk to children who have allegedly been physically or sexually abused. I hear horrific stories of unthinkable acts that have been committed against them. These children most commonly have been abused by family members. If their perpetrators were not family members, then is was a family friend or trusted caretaker.

Children need to be told by parents that if anyone ever hugs, touches or kisses them anywhere on their body where they do not want to be hugged, touched or kissed, then they should tell. If parents do not clearly communicate this information to their children, then children do not know it is OK to tell.

Most perpetrators threaten children, so children are afraid to tell. Remember, perpetrators are most likely known to their victims, to the children are often told that the behavior is a special secret or something special must between the two of them.

Some facts about child abuse as reported by the U.S. Department of Justice, the Children's Defense Fund and the National Institute of Mental Health:

One in four children will be sexually abused before the age of 18 year.

Ninety-nine percent of all perpetrators of child sexual abuse are males.

The typical child sexual offender molests an average of 117 children, and most victims don't report the abuse.

Ninety percent of child sexual abuse victims are female.

Ninety-five percent of sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator.

In the United States today, there are 60 million adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse.

Every day, 7,883 children are abused or neglected.

Approximately four children die each day from maltreatment.

I know the phrase "It takes a village" for some may be over-used. But it is true. It takes all of us to be vigilant and to care for the children in our lives and community.

Talk to your children, and listen to your children. Know where your children are. Know who they are with. If they tell you a family member or friend has abused them believe them.

Remember, abuse by strangers is rare. The common abuser is someone your child knows.

Tammy Gwaltney is the executive director of the Southeast Missouri Network Against Sexual Violence in Cape Girardeau.