MISSOURIANA

While spending a weekend at the Lake of the Ozarks, Governor Ashcroft discovered some illegal fishing traps. Probably put there by Democrats hoping to catch a live senatorial candidate.

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Despite two Republican senators, the Pentagon has targeted Missouri for large civilian employment reductions, canceled McDonnell-Douglas weapons contracts and ordered a sizable cut in National Guard units. Without Danforth and Bond, the military would probably have targeted the state with Patriot missiles.

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If you believe your garden will look like the cover of the new seed catalog, then you'll also believe Jefferson City will enact a tough ethics law this session.

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Missouri senators have put the finishing touches on a new education tax that would be the largest increase in the history of the state. Sponsors are hoping that voters are so poorly educated they won't notice.

Jack Stapleton