MISSOURIANA

Trying to figure out a madman like Saddam Hussein is like following a motrist who's had too much to drink. Only difference is the driver will be sober the next day.

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State officials are taking extra precautions to prevent terrorism in Jefferson City. So far members of the General Assembly have had free access to the city.

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Members of Congress wildly applauded President Bush's "State of the Union" address every time he criticized Saddam Hussein. Eat your heart out, Willie Horton.

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Sen. Bond charges that the University of Missouri at St. Louis has become the "breeding place" for state Democratic campaigns. If Kit is right, there's obviously a lot of birth control being practiced at UMSL.

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The General Assembly already has several hundred bills, despite the fact it's only been in session a little over three weeks. Shucks, the state couldn't even pay the bills it got before legislators convened.