MISSOURIANA

Washington is now worrying about nuclear missile proliferation in the Soviet Union just in time to avoid worrying about poverty proliferation at home.

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City Council members in Kansas City spend the night in crime-infested neighborhoods in order to understand the terror of residents. Politics makes frightened bedfellows.

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Now that John Sununu is out as White House chief of staff, shouldn't the Mizzou alumni hire him to insult Kansas Jayhawkers?

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For Sale: Several weapons, all believed to have serial numbers, in mint condition. Reason for selling: owner shot himself in the foot. Call office of State Treasurer and ask for Wendell.

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One Missourian says that if the Bill of Rights is 200 years old, somebody ought to pay it before the interest charges get out of hand.

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Growing up these days is tough. Kids now have to worry whether Santa's weight indicates a high cholesterol count.