MISSOURIANA

Politicians in both parties are trying to do something about the high price of gasoline. Today's financial tip: Buy oil-company stock.

Between building new stadiums and rebuilding cities after riots when a team wins a championship, the cost of professional athletics is out of the ballpark.

One out of every eight Americans is governed by a member of the Bush family. The rest of us are supervised by a parent, spouse or mother-in-law.

The United States has the world's best hospitals, best-trained doctors and best pharmaceutical industry, which is why we rank 18th, just behind Bolivia, in health care.

A St. Louis lawyer gives clients valuable tickets and then bills them for the cost of the tickets. This is why Justice wears a blindfold.

Before Missourians invest tax money in a new stadium for the St. Louis Cardinals, they may want to speculate what the team would be like without Mark McGwire.

Many Americans never believed the old adage that any boy could grow up to become president of the United States. Not until Al Gore and George W. Bush showed up.

Census Bureau officials estimate Missouri has gained more than 330,000 new residents in the past decade. Most of them can be found on our crowded interstate highways.

To be politically correct these days, citizens must be native Americans whose ancestors burned the Confederate flag and marched on Washington to protest Bibles at inaugurations.

The United States won't be rid of the fear of unemployment until we find jobs for all the candidates running for county office this year.