MISSOURI WATCH: `MO'S BOATS IN MOATS'

With apologies to Dr. Seuss' "Green Eggs and Ham":

Mo I Am. I am Mo.

Do you like my beached casino?

If you don't why did you say so?

Why, so, Mo I Am?

What makes you like a clam?

I am Mo

Me, you have to show.

Please, no green eggs and ham,

Those go to Sam I Am.

Do you like a boat that will not float?

Do you really want it in a moat?

Tell me, Mo I Am,

Are you happy with this scam?

Would you like it in a boat

That can not float?

Would you like it with a goat

That does not even float?

I would not like them here or there.

I would not like them anywhere.

I do not like a casino that can not float

I do not want a casino that has no boat

Nor do I want a casino in a moat

That can not float.

I do not like a casino anywhere

Where they are I do not care.

I do not like them in a box

I do not like them with a fox.

I will not try a new casino

My name, you see, is Mr. Mo.

It's time, I say, for them to go

Why must they be so slow?

I do not like them in a river house.

I do not like them with a mouse.

I do not like them here or there.

I do not like them anywhere.

Not in a box.

Not with a fox.

Not with eggs and lox.

I would not, could not in a moat

Try a boat that will not float.

My casino must cruise a river

If only for a minute's sliver.

I would not, could not on a boat.

I will not, even with a goat.

I will not board it in a rain.

I will not board it on a train.

I do not like a Vegas casino

My name, you see, is Mr. Mo.

So you say.

Try them!

And you may.

Try them and you may, I say.

If you will let me be, I will try them.

Maybe I will like them, stern to stem!

Say! I like this casino,

I must say, Mr. Mo!

I like these boats in moats,

I even like them with their goats!

I like them, Mo I Am.

I like this moat-boat scam!

Why, I would board them in the rain

And board them on a train.

I will board them anywhere,

I will board them on a dare

I will board them without care.

I like those slots

I like them lots!

I like those cards

Please give them my regards!

I like the cash

I think it's wise to dash

Before it turns to trash.

I like these boats

Inside safe moats.

Even if they do not float

It makes us winners gloat,

When losers are the goat!

Thank you! Thank you, I am Mo,

For giving me a waterproof casino!

What was I thinking of

When I said I would never love

A dry boat in a moat?

I must have been a silly goat!

You see, I really need my coat

Which I have lost upon your boat

And when it's time to dance,

Would you please return my pants?

Thank you again, for all the money,

It makes others' losses seem so funny!

Thank you so, Mr. I Am Mo

For giving us a drydock casino!

You see, we really know it's just a barge

Something enabling you to charge

Odds that are much too large!

But thank you so

For this expensive show

And thank you, Mr. Mo

For barges named Riverboat Casino!

~Jack Stapleton of Kennett is the editor of Missouri News and Editorial Service.