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OpinionApril 17, 1994

To the Editor: I am reminded of the bumper sticker that reads: How do you know if Clinton is lying? You check to see if his lips are moving.... First our beloved co-presidents from Arkansas tell us that neophyte investor Hillary made all the trades herself in her risky but highly profitable commodities account, that she was bright, skilled, obviously a fast learner and maybe just a little bit fortuitous as well. ...

Bill Zellmer

To the Editor:

I am reminded of the bumper sticker that reads: How do you know if Clinton is lying? You check to see if his lips are moving....

First our beloved co-presidents from Arkansas tell us that neophyte investor Hillary made all the trades herself in her risky but highly profitable commodities account, that she was bright, skilled, obviously a fast learner and maybe just a little bit fortuitous as well. Then, finally, she admits all the foregoing was a lie; she actually piggybacked on the account of her new friend James Blair, attorney for Tyson Foods, Arkansas' largest employer and benefactor, later, of her husband's largess as governor. (Did the state close its eyes to Tyson's pollution of waterways?)

Then Hillary, bless her, it's hard to remember everything, even for a lawyer, says she traded in cattle futures only. Now she is forced to admit, because it's there in black and white, it'll come out in the congressional hearings, that too was a sham; she also traded, and made and lost money, in sugar, copper, wheat and lumber futures, as well as treasury bonds. Doing things that only the shrewdest of the greedy traders of the 1980s, those people our co-presidents condemned during their lying, hypocritical campaign, managed to do.

Lie after lie. Is anybody keeping track? Rush Limbaugh, are you counting?

First Hillary says she got out of the commodities market because the market was turning sour and she was getting cold feet. And besides, she was pregnant with Chelsea. But the new documents, revealed in an AP story on April 12, show she traded until May 1980 (the beginning of the decade of greed), three months (ital) after (unital) Chelsea was born. So she wasn't telling the truth again. It must be contagious, a germ picked up in the governor's mansion and now unleashed on the White House....

Hillary first claimed she opened a second account in October 1979 with $5,000 of her own money, then closed it two years later after losing about $1,000.

But it turns out, oops, those dates were all wrong. And, oh-oh, in fact she didn't lose $1,000 after all. She actually made a $9,000 (ital) profit (uital). Of course we understand; it's hard to remember all those successful trades....

Then, suddenly, it all comes back to you. Funny how facing a congressional hearing can focus the mind.

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Do our co-presidents lie? Do their lips move?

First Hillary says the big pharmaceutical companies are evil because they make profits. Then we learn she and Bill made no telling how money investing in the stock of those evil pharmaceutical companies, the very ones that she has been condemning, for several years. They were hot investments in the late 1980s and the first year or two of this decade. Before Health Care Reform....

But before they started their joint presidential campaign, before they began condemning the pharmaceuticals, their investment company changed its strategy. It began (ital) shorting (unital) pharmaceutical companies. Which means you bet their stock price is going to fall and fall some more and keep falling....

Then Hillary uses her position as co-president, as head of the president's secret committee on health care reform to condemn the pharmaceuticals. And to drive down the price....

How much money did the co-presidents make by shorting pharmaceuticals? Perhaps the special counsel will tell us. Perhaps it'll come out in the hearings. But we do need to know....

And by the way, have we ever been told just who made up the membership of that select health care reform committee? We learn now that principals of a managed health care company, a public company, were among those involved. Managed health care is in. Companies with names like United Healthcare, U.S. Healthcare, Pacific Healthcare -- their stock has been soaring and splitting and soaring some more lately...(at least until the recent correction).

So what are the odds that Bill and Hillary's Little Rock investment company owned some of that stock...and bet it long, at just the right moment? And Bill and Hillary knew just exactly what was going on because they didn't put their holdings into a blind trust until recently....

How long before Congress holds hearings? How long before the independent counsel finishes his investigation? How long before Hillary is indicted? How long before Bill is impeached? Let the hearings begin....

BILL ZELLMER

Cape Girardeau

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