LETTERS: COUNSELING FOR ABUSERS

To the editor:

The trial of O.J. Simpson has focused the nation's attention on one fact of American life. Abuse is widespread and crosses all lines. Abuse is not confined to the poor or the uneducated.

Our country has always been one that has projected an image of protector of the innocent. It has also been a country of compassion and sympathy for another person.

While it is easy to feel compassion for the abused, it is hard to feel anything but the deepest contempt and anger for the abuser. Yet in order for a country to truly show compassion, compassion must be extended to one and all.

It is my thought that, by stopping an abuser, we are showing that person the deepest sympathy possible. The deepest love is sometimes shown by not allowing someone to inflict damage on another person. Abuse harms not only the abused, but the abuser as well. I am referring to spiritual and mental harm, and not the visible, physical harm done during an act of abuse.

No matter who you are or what your personality, something deep inside of you tells you that hurting someone else harms you also. The person being abused must realize that loving someone doesn't mean allowing them to do as they choose. Most often, a hurtful act will harm both people in the relationship. Letting someone you love hurt you is not good for you or for the other person. Stopping the abuser is a real act of love.

Stopping one act of abuse, however, is not enough. As a nation of compassionate people, we must not only show concern for the abused, but the for the abuser as well. We must be prepared to help the abuser overcome his abusive tendencies. Only then can we all be safe from abuse.

It is necessary at times to confine the abuser, but incarceration is not going to change an abusive person. In some cases, it only inflames the anger and gives the abuser an excuse for revenge. It perpetuates the problem.

We have finally realized that drug abusers and alcohol abusers are sick people who need help. People abusers are sick too. They need counseling as much, maybe even more so, than the drug and alcohol abusers and person being abused.

Let us go to our judges, lawmakers, ministers and counselors. Let's insist on a program that makes counseling mandatory for all abusers. We need to make counseling for people abuse just as important as counseling for drug and alcohol abuse.

SANDRA FANN

Jackson