HELLO, MR. BUSH: A FEW THOUGHTS TO PONDER

Welcome to Cape Girardeau, Mr. Bush. This is a friendly part of the country where Texans are made to feel right at home. Most folks around here are as likely to call you George as Mr. Bush, although a lot of newspaper columnists and letter writers like to make up names like Double You or Junior or George II. Don't mind them. They don't mean any harm. It's just that Cape Girardeans are used to having presidents and would-be presidents come to town.

Given the fact that Cape Girardeau isn't one of our nation's big cities and the additional fact that, even with generous supporters, fund raising here will barely cover the cost of the trip, you might wonder why there was such an eagerness to schedule your visit to the City of Roses.

Part of the answer is because there are a heck of a lot of conservative-thinking Americans -- and they're not all Republicans -- in what we affectionately call Swampeast Missouri, and a few more like-minded voters and taxpayers in our neighboring states of Illinois, Kentucky, Tennessee and Arkansas. So your howdy-do in Cape Girardeau is probably going to be about the most genuine you'll find anywhere on the campaign trail.

Keep in mind, of course, that these same conservatives gave President Clinton and Vice President Gore quite a reception in our very own Capaha Park right after they were nominated for re-election in '96. We have the same fascination for people in power as most everyone else.

Another reason some of your campaign advisers might have thought a stopover in Cape Girardeau would be good is because we have some ideas about the future of this nation, ideas anyone who wants to hire a moving van to go to 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. ought to hear. So, if it's not too out of line, Mr. Bush, we'd like to suggest that you listen carefully -- and not be one of those people who go on a "listening tour" and never stop talking.

There's quite a list of ideas you're likely to pick up in Southeast Missouri. One of the big ones is about tax cuts. Some top Democrats -- even Mr. Clinton himself -- are pooh-poohing tax cuts and saying Americans want to pay off the national debt and save Social Security and Medicare before they get a tax cut. Even some Republicans are wishy-washy about tax cuts. What you'll hear here is simple: Why not do it all?

Keep in mind, Mr. Bush, that 40 million Americans don't pay taxes. As a matter of fact, many of those who don't pay taxes get tax credits from the federal government -- money, of course, that comes from all those other Americans who pay taxes every year.

Another thing you'll hear is how people in Cape Girardeau would not only like to keep more of their hard-earned dollars, they also would like Washington to stop making all the rules about how to spend tax dollars.

And that surplus they keep talking about? It sure would be nice if you and all the other presidential candidates would be honest about that. Any excess revenue being generated by Social Security taxes should be held in sacred trust for future Social Security recipients. Why do you suppose that concept is so hard to accept in Washington?

Then there's the matter of personal integrity. Most of us understand no one is perfect, Mr. Bush, so we tend to tolerate mistakes. But we simply can't abide those who rely on the dark side of their nature to get ahead. It may take years to fully comprehend the scars of recent history.

If you don't hear anything else, Mr. Bush, hear this: Whoever is elected to occupy the White House will have the weight of the world on his shoulders. It will take a world of virtue to withstand the load.

And anyone with the ability to lead by example already has more than all the fund raisers in the world can provide.

Enjoy your stay, Mr. Bush. And good luck.