Europe's change of heart

I am an American living and working overseas. I was born in St. Louis, grew up in Perryville, Mo., and moved to Colorado not long after graduating college. Three years ago, I moved to Spain.

As an American citizen living overseas, you are exposed to many different things that you do not have the opportunity to see or experience at home, expanding your view of the world.

With my mother being from Germany, I made my first trip overseas in 1976 at age 6. My family was always saving up a little money to make trips overseas to visit relatives and explore a little bit. So in addition to having the opportunity to grow up in the U.S., I have also had the opportunity to see other countries and be exposed to other cultures and ways of life.

I have always been amazed at the warmth and kindness I encountered whenever I was moving around various parts of Europe. Once people found out I was American, it seemed that a fountain of conversation had been opened, as people talked of always wanting to go see America or reflected on a trip already made.

When I moved to Spain from Colorado, it was just four months after Sept. 11, 2001. People were still scared to fly and worried about another terrorist attack.

One thing I found after settling in in Spain was how the people sympathized with the United States and the American people in the aftermath of Sept. 11. Many people told me how sorry they were that the attack had taken place and how much they respected the United States and how they hoped we would catch the people who had perpetrated the hideous incident. They also supported the invasion of Afghanistan, and understood why the U.S. undertook this action.

The conversations were just as sincere and heartfelt as I had remembered on my many trips to Europe previously. I remember a 70-year-old man in Cuellar, a small village outside Segovia where the running of the bulls originated, taking me on a two-hour round of four restaurants and not letting me pay for anything. He said he wanted to share a little of his village with someone far from home and hoped I would have fond memories of the experience. This was an example of the Europe I had always known.

Then came Iraq and the U.S. invasion. For the first time in my life, I now find that it is better for me to avoid the question of my nationality when I go somewhere here in Europe. The absolute loathing of the decision of our current administration to go into Iraq has dealt a hammer blow to the foundation of goodwill and trust always shown by Europeans toward Americans. Through the almost 30 years that I have been coming to Europe, I have never felt that people knowing my nationality was anything but helpful, but with this one action by the United States, everything has changed for the worse. I now hear people questioning the U.S. position as a world leader on moral grounds.

My work takes me to various points across Europe. This year, Germany, Norway, Finland, Italy, Austria and England have been on my list. And in every country, it has been the same. Trust and goodwill have been replaced by suspicion and misgivings over Iraq.

I talk to friends and business contacts in England, and the majority do not agree with the decision taken by the British government to support America in its Iraq venture. Most think it is pure folly and had nothing to do with the fight against terror.

These days, when I go into a bar or restaurant in Spain or another part of Europe, everything is exceptionally cordial and gracious until people find out that I am from the States. The good- natured feelings rapidly cool. Goodwill has been replaced by distrust, anger and the overwhelming feeling that our government went to war based on false pretext, manipulation of information on the subject of WMD's and non-existent ties of Iraq to Sept. 11, not to mention a great deal of arrogance.

I have seen demonstrations where whole cities have shut down to protest U.S. policy in Iraq, including the city where I live.

And if it feels like this here in Europe, home of our longtime, traditional allies, I wonder what people in the Arab world are feeling.

Yes, Saddam being gone is a good thing, but I wonder about the price that we have paid. The goodwill of our European cousins that I have experienced for 29 years has been radically altered and jeopardized with no sign that it will return to like it was.

I miss my days in Europe before Iraq, I just hope that I haven't seen the last of them.

Derrick P. Caudle, formerly of Perryville, Mo., currently resides in Murcia, Spain.