Donald Trump's 'racist' menu

I must be the biggest racist ever -- based on its recent definition. If I'm having a gathering at my house, attendees can be assured of two things: 1) I'll be serving up something quick and easy, like pizza, and 2) I'll be serving up something quick and easy, like pizza. Don't bother rereading; you read it right the first time. Okay, and some wings. I just learned, though, that makes me a racist.

President Trump stepped in it again. This time it was for the boneheaded decision to serve the Clemson Tigers fast food at the White House celebration of the team's national football championship. Some of y'all will disagree that the decision was ill-advised, but I repeat: It was a boneheaded decision. It was not, however, a decision any man left to his own devices isn't prone to. There's probably not a man on the planet who wouldn't drop the ball when it comes to picking the menu. I don't know who advised the president to serve fries instead of filet mignon, but my guess is it wasn't Melania. Actually, my gut says someone on the championship-losing Alabama Crimson Tide team was in charge of the eats! ("That'll teach 'em to kick our tails!")

Regardless of who made the decision, I concede it was not the right one, not that I don't like fast food. I mean, I didn't get this extra poundage the last few years from staring down my nose at pizza. But I digress. If for no other reason than the sake of appearance -- and appearance, fair or not, does matter when you're President of the United States -- Mr. President should have known better, should have done better.

What I am not willing to concede, however, is that racism is at the root of Trump's feeding the team burgers, fries, pizzas and other greasy grub. Unless he served the white dudes something more bougie than he served the brothuhs, I don't see racism -- just poor decision-making. And let's be honest: Had he offered chicken -- and God forbid it was fried! -- he would have been in hot...sauce for serving that stereotypical staple. Get that look off your face; you know I'm telling the truth.

I laughed my head off at the whole thing. I mean, who serves a championship team a smörgåsbord of fast food? Just one of those things you don't expect. But I've seen lots of things I didn't expect -- things that make you go, "What were you thinking?" Kind of like when then-President Barack Obama gave his British counterpart, Gordon Brown, a box set of...um, DVDs when the prime minister visited Washington, DC, in 2009. It was what the UK Daily Mail called "a gift about as exciting as a pair of socks." I wondered then, "What was Obama thinking, and who is advising him?" Same thing here. But at least most college football players do get excited about food -- even fast food. Message to the wolf-criers: Not everything is racist; some things are just gauche and, well, boneheaded. Being a poor meal planner is not the same as being a racist -- or it never used to be. Maybe the president is just an Alabama fan!

Trump chalked up the menu to the government shutdown, a story I just don't buy. I'm not saying the shutdown doesn't affect White House kitchen staff. I don't have a clue about all that, but I am clued in enough to know Trump bought the meal himself and has enough money to have ensured the players had steak, lobster, duck à l'orange or some other fancy meal they probably didn't want. Okay, they probably wouldn't have minded steak.

The president should have known better than to serve champions an array of fast food. If you're still asking, "What's wrong with fast food?" I don't know what else to tell you. Pretend you're not a partisan who excuses everything Trump does, and it'll come to you. But here's the upshot: Is it the end of the world that he made a mess of the meal? Only to those who want to skewer him like the shish kabobs he didn't serve. He won't win chef of the year honors, that's for sure. But something tells me he ain't bucking for that. While his menu choice doesn't make him any more beloved to those who didn't love him anyway, it also doesn't make him a racist. It sure does make the headlines, though.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member. Contact her at aross@semissourian.com.