Day without 'Jeopardy' is nightmare for VCR-challenged

Dear top management of the "Jeopardy" TV station:

As far as I know, you are fine, upstanding people. But you may not know the chaos you caused on New Year's Day, so I thought I'd drop you a line and fill you in.

If you knew me at all, you'd also know I'm a nice guy. But even nice guys have their limits.

Your channel is the only channel out of the dozens of channels available on our local cable-TV system that shows current "Jeopardy" shows. I'm not counting that channel with old game shows. An old "Jeopardy," quite frankly, is like old gravy. You might eat it to stay alive, but you'd try tree bark first.

More importantly, "Jeopardy" is the only TV program my wife watches every day. Because of this, and because of when "Jeopardy" is broadcast by your station, we have to rely on our VCR to tape the program so we can watch it later.

Maybe you see where this is headed.

Like many other true-blue Americans, I am confounded by my VCR. Once upon a time, you could set your VCR once and you could depend on having "Jeopardy" on tape every day. All I really had to know how to do was turn the TV set on and off.

These days, of course, turning on a TV set is a whole lot like launching a manned mission to Mars.

There's that snazzy remote control the cable-TV company gave me to go with the sharp digital box that now sits on top of the stereo receiver which produces sound for my TV.

To turn on my TV, I have to push a button on the digital remote control that activates the TV set and the digital box. Then I push another button and turn on the VCR. Then I have to use the remote control for the VCR to turn off the on-screen display that counts the passing seconds as the tape plays. If I can find the TV set's remote control, I can also adjust the volume -- unless the digital remote control is set on CABLE or AUDIO. In that case, of course, I can use the digital remote control to raise and lower the volume of the stereo receiver, if I remember which buttons are for volume and which ones are for channels. I won't even go into the buttons for PAUSE and VCR-TV. Proper use of these additional buttons would require reading yet another manual, which I haven't taken the time to do, because by the time I get the TV on, the VCR started, the volume adjusted and fast-foward through the commercials, it's way past my bedtime.

But that's not why I'm writing to you.

On New Year's Day, my wife and I enjoyed a thoroughly relaxing day. We watched some of the Tournament of Roses Parade and learned a lot about how the float builders use crushed walnuts.

Shortly after 4:30 p.m. -- the time of day when "Jeopardy" comes on -- I took special note of the fact that our VCR was recording. We had the option of watching "Jeopardy" at the same time it was being broadcast, but we're so used to fast-forwarding through the commercials that we decided to wait and watch it later.

At approximately 6:17 p.m., my wife and I sat down in our La-Z-Boy recliners to watch "Jeopardy." I won't give you the whole rundown of turning on the TV set, the VCR, the stereo receiver, because I flubbed a few of the buttons and had to start over several times.

By about 7:42 p.m., I had the TV on, the VCR operating and some sound coming from the speakers. While this wasn't a record time for me, I thought it was decent enough.

You can imagine my shock and horror when I pushed the PLAY button on the VCR and, instead of hearing the familiar and soothing voice of the "Jeopardy" announcer, I saw something entirely different.

Figure skating!

My wife said to me, "What did you do now? Why in the world did you tape figure skating?"

To be honest, I didn't have an answer, because I didn't know at that point if we were watching a videotape or a live broadcast. Has that ever happened to you?

After gathering my wits, I began to use all the technical ability I could muster to sort through the electronic gadgets. After a while -- quite a while, actually -- I discovered the truth. It was exactly 9:38 p.m. by the way -- way past my bedtime.

Folks, you were showing figure skating when you should have been showing "Jeopardy." As best I can determine, you allowed a network to pre-empt your local programming.

What were you thinking?

Perhaps you were thinking that on New Year's Day no one would give a hoot about what they were watching. Perhaps you thought "Jeopardy" fans wouldn't mind a holiday change of scenery.

You were so wrong.

I'm tempted to become a "Wheel of Fortune" fan.

But my wife says that's on your channel too. And I'd have to reprogram the VCR.

A lot of people think whatever happens to them on New Year's Day pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the year. I would hate to think 2002 will be the kind of year where every time I want to watch something on TV it will be pre-empted by figure skating.

Please don't let this happen. If you have one shred of decency, you will make sure "Jeopardy" comes on at 4:30 p.m. Monday through Friday.

You wouldn't want to force me to reprogram my VCR, would you? Would you want that on your conscience?

Sincerely,

A loyal "Jeopardy" fan

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian