Birthday reflections: 5 lessons from this 50-year-old

Fifty years old? How is that possible? Was it not just yesterday that I began counting the days until I became a teenager? And here I am about to turn 50 on Sunday. It's quite a thing, how that happens.

I remember turning 30 and being so depressed about being "old." Forty didn't bother me at all. I mean, I was already 30, "so what difference does it make now?" I'd joke. I'm not one of those people who has a problem sharing my age. Until recently, no one believed me anyway, and there are still a few naive ones who don't -- at least they're kind enough to say that! There's no sadness in aging. What's sad is if we have nothing to show for it. So here are five lessons I have to show for it, in no certain order.

1. Time goes really fast. It does. One day, you're wondering how one summer lasts 10 years. The next, you're wondering how 10 years flew by in what seemed like one summer. When I was a child, adults would say the older you got, the faster time flew. "Yeah, whatever," you thought, as you filed that with the rest of the cute sayings you were tired of hearing adults say. Or, more likely, you didn't even think about what they were saying because you were trying to figure out why the day was dragging. Sooner rather than later, that saying comes back to you, and you realize, "They weren't lying!"

2. Relationships matter. We can spend time building empires or padding bank accounts or gathering book knowledge -- not that it's wrong to desire success. But -- and now I'm really showing my age -- as Billy Dee Williams said in the film "Mahogany" -- "success is nothing without someone you love to share it with." Loving people, treating people right, investing in people -- those are the things that matter most. Recognizing, too, that family comes in all different colors and backgrounds is vital. Blood is important, but family often extends beyond that. Do not limit yourself.

3. Wisdom does not necessarily come with age. Some of the most ridiculous perspectives are espoused by people who should know better because they're older. They don't know better. So what I've learned, more here lately than ever, is the significance of listening. I can say, "I'm 50. You can't tell me anything!" or I can be open to learn, but only if I'm willing to shut up long enough to hear. Dealing with people who will not listen is infuriating, and it's costly. There are things I am dealing with in my life now because others would not and will not listen. I put it this way: "They know everything, and they're wrong about most of it." When that flaw affects just them, that's one thing. When it affects me, it's something else altogether. Sometimes, it's even life-altering. I want to be like fine wine and improve with age.

4. Taking risks makes life sweeter. I'm not by nature a risk taker, but I learned over the last several years that certain risks bring rewards that make it worth it. I'm no fool, but fear is a thief, so I have to be willing to get out of my comfort zone. For me, that involved doing some things that at one time, I never would have considered. Some meaningful risks I've taken: missions trips to Guatemala and Africa; learning how to ride a motorcycle and owning two, which I no longer have, but hopefully, I will again one day, even post-50; changing careers after being a teacher for nearly two decades; moving from the Northeast to the Midwest; white water rafting; going on vacation alone; buying my first home at the ripe age of 48. I could go on. Weigh some things, and then get after it. Remember, time flies. Take some risks.

5. God can do anything but fail. I put this at the bottom of my list, but it certainly reigns supreme. From my childhood, I heard, "Trust God" and "All things are possible with God." While I've been told many things over these 50 years that ended up being more myth than reality, those words are not among them. Those words are the truth. They have guided me and encouraged me and sustained me. The next 50 years, just as the last, I will declare them and live their reality.

Happy birthday to me on Sunday. And here's to the next 50!

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member.