YOU WANT ALL OF THIS, THEN GORE'S YOUR MAN

So, you're thinking about who will get your vote for president in November. It's never too early to make your wish list. No, this isn't Christmas. It's better than Christmas. It's that magical time of year when you can ask for anything you want -- anything at all under the sun -- and one of the top contenders, Al Gore or George W. Bush -- or both, will promise to get it for you.

When it comes to presidential politics, you only get an opportunity like this every four years. There's just one important lesson you have to remember about election-year promises: Don't be terribly disappointed when you wake up any morning for the next four years and you still don't have what you were promised.

As a conscientious voter, you're job is to figure out who will promise you the most.

For example, what do you really want? Government-backed perks for homosexuals? A trade deal with the Chinese that's more generous than the one Bill Clinton is working on? Special concessions for unions? Real campaign reform? (Wink. Wink.) And, on top of all that, you want Elian to stay in this country?

If that's what you want, it's pretty clear you should give your vote to Al Gore. He's your man, no doubt about it.

Gore doesn't just want homosexuals in the military. He wants them on the Supreme Court too. Gore has been right there on the administration's negotiations with the Chinese, but he can do better when he's president. Clinton has talked a good game for unions, but Gore can get you so much more. Who best knows how to reform campaign financing? Why, that would be someone who's run afoul of all those pesky contribution rules and limits, someone with firsthand experience, and that would be our man Gore. And who knows what's best for 6-year-old Cubans? Certainly not that coldhearted Clinton bunch that wants to send Elian back to Castro. Gore's been fighting to keep the lad safe in democracy's bosom all along but maybe you didn't know that.

It's crystal clear who wants to do the most for voters. Maybe there's something else you want, but Gore doesn't know about it. Now's the time to tell him. World peace? A cure for cancer? Pristine environment? Low-cost gasoline? Sunny weather any day you want to play golf?

See. That's the neat thing about election years. There are no limits. You can have anything you want. Absolutely anything.

But you have to ask the right candidate. Somebody like that stuffy Bush fellow might draw the line if you go too far say, free government-funded abortions for every woman who wants one.

There you have it. Al Gore will be the next president of the United States. He wants to make sure we get anything we want, not just everything we need.

Vote for Gore. You deserve him.