Yes, I'll trade

With the overwhelming success of the "cash for clunkers" program, I want to expand the concept just a tad.

I'm waiting for word from Congress on additional funding for the popular program because I have just the perfect trade-in for this inspiring plan.

I want to trade in my 2008 Obama for a new model -- one that performs better without the hidden costs.

The truth is, I didn't want the '08 Obama in the first place. But alas, I got outvoted and so I settled in for this new, shiny model with all the hope and promise that a new car smell brings.

Unfortunately from the very beginning, the '08 Obama just simply did not live up to expectations. It looked great, and -- on paper at least -- it offered all of the changes I wanted and needed.

But then the problems began. It has a faulty communication system that promises to take me one place but ends up driving me in the opposite direction. And in just a few months, it already has high mileage and the shine is beginning to wear off.

I remember my best purchase ever. It was that classic '84 Reagan. Worked like a charm, delivered on every promise and kept performing until it was time for a trade.

Heck, this new '08 Obama may not even match the '04 Bush. And that darned '04 Bush sputtered along, lost most of its wheels and it still came closer to delivering the goods.

The prime problem with this '08 Obama, of course, is the steering. It turns only left. Even when a right turn is so obvious, it turns left. Eventually, after about three of those left turns, I end up in the same darned spot where I started.

This '08 Obama model actually performs just like a foreign-made vehicle. Long on promise, short on delivery.

I don't expect a great deal of trade-in value with this new ride. It's still in excellent condition. It would make someone an excellent second vehicle. But as a primary form of transportation, this new model is sorely lacking.

This new '08 Obama came with a four-year warranty, renewal for another four years. But heck, after taking the time to look at the details, folks, I simply cannot afford to keep driving this model for the remainder of the warranty.

I should have looked at the fine print!

At the current pace, I won't even be able to afford insurance for this model in the near future. And with discussions underway in Washington on something called "cap and trade," in the near future I won't be able to afford a fill-up.

I strongly suspect there would be several million Americans willing to trade in their new '08 Obamas for another model. Don't misunderstand. This model is sleek and pleasing to the eye. But gosh, I just can't afford the upkeep.

If my idea works, maybe we can consider a "cash for Congress" program. Unfortunately at the current rate, there won't be enough money left to fund the program.