Some suggestions

As much as I'd like to, I can't solve all the world's problems. But while your Thanksgiving eats still have you in a stupor, I will try to enlighten you on a few perplexing situations.

Paying for the war(s)

The U.S. has led two victorious wars in the post-World War II era. The first was Operation Urgent Fury in 1983 that rescued Grenada from the perils of something or other. The second was Desert Storm in 1990-1991, which detached Kuwait from the clutches of Saddam Hussein.

Both of these wars were quick and had an easily recognizable beginning and end. As waging war goes, they cost next to nothing.

The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, on the other hand, are money pits. President Obama is expected to announce next week that he will send more troops to Afghanistan.

There are hints in Washington that the cost of waging these current wars might best be financed by a special tax.

Swell idea! Bring it on!

Only don't tax Americans. We're already paying our fair share.

Instead, tax the folks who stand to benefit from our military endeavors. If U.S. troops are needed in Iraq to direct traffic and keep the Kurds safe from their own government, then tax the Iraqis. If we need more troops in Afghanistan to hand over bribes to the Taliban so they'll keep tabs on the thousand or so al-Qaida terrorists left in that miserable country's mountain caves, then tax the Afghans. There's no good reason those opium profits shouldn't pay for the war.

Paying for health care

Speaking of taxes, there are some bright bulbs in Congress who are suggesting that the best way to pay for health care reforms that would guarantee medical benefits for every American would be to impose a new tax.

Swell idea! Bring it on!

Only don't tax rich Americans. They're already paying the lion's share of all taxes collected in the Land of the Free (Plus Shipping, Handling and Applicable Taxes).

According to the Congressional Budget Office, the "top 1 percent of income earners (comprising about 1 million families) earn about 15 percent of the total income earned by all wage earners in the United States, yet they pay almost 30 percent of all individual income taxes."

And guess what? The the top 1 percent of U.S. income earners receive excellent medical care. They also pay most of the cost of federal, state and local programs that benefit those who earn less -- or don't earn at all.

So don't tax the rich to pay for universal health care. Tax those who stand to rake in billions of government dollars. Start with the manufacturers of red tape.

And don't forget the criminals who fraudulently skim billions of dollars from Medicare and other government programs. No need to go to the trouble of tracking them down and prosecuting them and giving them room and board in a federal prison. Just tax them. A lot.

H1N1 vaccine

Millions of Americans are waiting for shots they were promised to protect them from the H1N1 flu virus. Why not put someone in charge?

The way the system works now, there is a federal bureaucracy (Centers for Disease Control, Health and Human Services, White House) in charge of getting needles stuck in every willing American's arm. There is no one -- no single individual -- to take full responsibility.

If I were part of that vast federal bureaucracy, I'd be rooting for an H1N1 vaccine czar, someone you could point your finger at when the vaccine doesn't show up until after we've all had the flu and, possibly, a funeral.

jsullivan@semissourian.com<I>