MISSOURIANA

Former Cardinal manager Whitey Herzog says he's ready to get back into action so he can make winners out of losers. Maybe Missouri Democrats have finally found a senatorial candidate.

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After riverboat gambling, dog races and electronic video games, about all that's left for Missouri in raising additional revenue is a Saturday night crap game in the governor's office.

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One of the reasons politics has never replaced baseball as the national pastime is that newspapers don't publish a post-contest box score on political times at bat, strike-outs, fouls and errors.

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Although he was caring enough to invite his son and nephew out for a midnight round of beer drinking, it's unlikely Ted Kennedy will win this year's Father of the Year Award.

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CIA reports on Iraqi military strength were slightly inaccurate. Saddam Hussein not only didn't have the fourth most powerful army in the world, he didn't even have the most powerful army in Iraq.

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Medical science needs to find a quick cure for George Bush's thyroid condition before he invades another country.