MISSOURIANA

The real reason the Soviet coup failed so miserably was that its leaders were following the Democrats' campaign strategy plan for recapturing the White House.

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Just think of the money the state could save if the Missouri Lottery prize was a job in the St. Louis Traffic Violation Bureau.

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Americans are never going to understand the destructive force of hurricanes as long as they have names like Bob. How about giving these storms really descriptive names such as Hurricane Zsa Zsa.

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Vice President Dan Quayle made a big leap toward voter credibility when he recently complained that the United States has too many lawyers. He must have heard that when he was in law school.