MISSOURIANA

Let's not be too hard on those Missouri congressmen who hesitated to vote flood emergency funds until budget cuts could be made to offset them. After all, a flood isn't really a hazard to someone who can walk on water.

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During the weeks-long flooding in the state, we never heard anyone mention the phrase, "The least government is the best government."

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Many cities are wondering where they'll get the money to restore destroyed buildings. If they will name a levee or a sewer plant or a pumping station after some congressman, the politician will deliver the cash personally.

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Think you have a tough job? How would you like to be working for the East Alton Tourist Board? That would be as challenging as working for the Bosnian Industrial Development Commission.

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Now that Washington is getting ready to increase the tax on gasoline, how about adding another pump at the gas station and labeling it "Income Over $200,000."

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The tax bill that passed the Senate the other night can have two interpretations. To the Democrats, it's the road to deficit reduction. To the Republicans, it's the road to the White House.

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Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder. For flood-plagued Missourians, a huge pile of rock, gravel and sandbags along a raging river is a treasured piece of art.

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Famous last words: "We'll stay in our home tonight and by tomorrow, the river will have crested and started to fall. Trust me."

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The president of the California Bar Association proposes that lawyer jokes be criminalized as "hate speech." If someone is arrested for telling a lawyer joke, who does he hire to defend him?