MISSOURIANA

Bill Clinton's first days as president were filled with conflict, hostility and arguments. As a matter of fact, they made the Super Bowl seem like a Sunday School picnic.

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Former vice president Dan Quayle has received a contract to write a book for $1 million, minus a small fee for a proofreader who can spell.

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University of Missouri economists say 1993 will be better than last year, although they're not exactly bullish on whether Tiger football will break the .500 barrier.

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A recent survey reports that most Americans say they wouldn't give up watching TV for a million dollars. Which is strange because they also say the programs they watch aren't worth a nickel.

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Considering all of Clinton's problems since entering the Oval office, no wonder George Bush was smiling on inauguration day. It's called the Last Laugh.

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President Clinton would probably follow the rule that has guided Gov. Carnahan in avoiding criticism -- don't do much of anything.

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After problems with Zoe and gays in the military, all Bill needs now is a surprise visit from Gennifer Flowers.