MISSOURIANA

The critical issues of this year's elections in Missouri still haven't surfaced. The candidates haven't yet decided what they want to talk about.

U.S. Sen. John Ashcroft, completing his first term, has endorsed congressional term limits and has said he will retire at the end of his second term. Gov. Mel Carnahan, who is running against Ashcroft, has something even more limiting in mind.

A proposed amendment would legalize carrying a concealed weapon in church. That certainly might put an end to those really long sermons.

The difference between the TV guy who points at a cold front on a map with his finger and the meteorologist who uses a computer is usually less than one degree.

You're probably not a very important political figure if David Letterman and Jay Leno no longer make insulting remarks about you.

The odds are that Missouri will finally solve its highway mess just about the time Elian is ready to go to college.

Even if you miss a question on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," at least you sill know you're twice as smart as that Regis fellow.

Two million Americans are behind bars, many of them because they spent too much time drinking in front of one.