MISSOURIANA

A technological curmudgeon is someone who, upon contemplating the problems facing society today, decided early on he would leave his computer date on 1900.

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President Clinton warned us to be wary of terrorists. But as far as anyone can tell nothing can be done about the out-of-control presidential candidates.

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The problem with knowing too much about environmental threats is that we worry whenever there's a warm day in winter or a cool night in summer.

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Missouri probably could have completed its 15-year highway plan if the highway department hadn't updated its computers.

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The Ashcroft-Carnahan race for U.S. Senate has descended to such a low point that both sides are arguing over whether they agreed not to argue.

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An American is someone who no longer finds it strange to learn that a former presidential mistress has just lost 30 pounds.

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It's an election year, so if you can't say anything nice about a candidate, be sure to contact his opponent.