MISSOURIANA

Although Republicans have barely kept control of Congress, at least they have the satisfaction of knowing they have Hillary to kick around.

An old-timer is someone who remembers when "Going to Florida" meant taking a vacation.

Views on abolishing the current U.S. system seem to correspond to whether someone's favorite presidential candidate won the election.

An old-timer also is a Florida resident who remembers when voters didn't have to worry about ballots that shed.

The political division is so close in Congress that leaders on both sides have vowed not to report the deaths of any of their members.

One of the advantages of being a television viewer is that you can miss one episode of your favorite program and be assured of seeing it again. And again. And again.

The problem with telling future generations about Campaign 2000 is that nobody will believe you.

As Al Gore has learned, the problem with being vice president is there's no on-the-job training for anything except holding the boss's coat.

The trouble with having all the family together over the holidays was that someone remembered what he meant to say during last year's argument.

In a recent trip to Washington, George W. Bush said, "Congress passes laws, and I execute them." Of course, he was referring to laws, not Congress.

Now the St. Louis Rams know how Al Gore felt when he went to Florida looking for a win.