MISSOURI WATCH: DIFFERENT SCAMS FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS, BOTH THE POOR AND RICH

I hope some doctoral candidate at some ivy-covered university will someday select for his or her thesis the subject of why we mortals find it so upsetting when we encounter greed among the poor and remain so tranquil when we witness it by the rich.

A radio talk-show hostess told me recently that she was transformed from a "flaming liberal" to a "cautious conservative" when she witnessed a family purchasing beer with food stamps. She must have seen a remarkably cataclysmic supermarket event to undergo such a monumental transformation, but I wasn't there, so I really can't vouch for it.

But the woman's reaction wasn't unusual. Who among us hasn't stood in a checkout line behind a family peeling off food stamps and inspected the items being purchased? We do this naturally, as if we were customs officials inspecting the baggage of sinister-appearing immigrants who look suspicious enough to be smuggling the Hope diamond somewhere inside their bandana-wrapped belongings. We're inspecting for luxury-item contraband, such as candy bars, pate do foie gras and, yes, something with a Budweiser label.

The poor should be buying the essentials to keep them alive, if not happy. Beans, sowbelly and corn meal, please, and don't try to sneak a couple of candy bars past the checker, because this is taxpayers money, and we'll tolerate no luxurious epicurean foolishness.

The stern admonitions we offer the poor, however, stand in stark contrast to the transgressions of the rich and the powerful. But the currency isn't food stamps. It's generally other kinds of taxpayer subsidies, and a recent example in the state's largest urban area will do quite well as one instance of affluency coddling. Take the taxpayer-built domed stadium in downtown St. Louis. Please!

If you will recall, we who deposit funds regularly in the bank account of the Missouri Department of Revenue are told, from time to time, that your dollars are being well spent in the constructions of a covered stadium that will house the state's newest professional football team. There are various amounts bandied about each time someone refers to the project, varying from a low of $260 million up to $320 million, half of either amount being supplied by all taxpayers residing within Missouri's boundaries. Of course, the real figure is more than twice any amount that is ever attributed, because the interest payments boost the actual expense total to $720 million.

Imagine our anger if we were informed that, instead of the cost attributed each year to food stamps, the real expense was twice that amount. Such information would not only transform some good citizens from liberals to conservatives, but from bleeding hearts to raging bulls.

Missourians have just been informed that the name of their new stadium will henceforth be the Trans World Dome. Catchy, but it's really not a name most of us would have chosen if we had had a vote. Which we didn't.

It's being called the Trans World Dome because the often bankrupt Trans World Airlines has agreed to pay $1.3 million a year, plus annual inflation costs, for the privilege of writing its name on the stadium. That might seem like great news, since it would help cut the mortgage costs, but it turns out most of this money is going to the NFL team that will play 10 games each year in our -- excuse me -- in TWA's stadium.

In the event you've forgotten, the name of the team is the St. Louis Scams -- I mean, Rams. Who, incidentally, have generously agreed to pay, each and every year, the munificent sum of $250,000 for the stadium, with no foolish provisions for added funds to cover inflation, thank you.

What makes all of this even more interesting is that the folks who get to see their name on our stadium have benefited for several years from some amazingly generous tax write-offs from -- guess who? -- the all-forgiving taxpayers of the Show Me State. Our elected officials over a long period of time have granted numerous tax abatements worth millions of dollars to TWA, which still has had to declare bankruptcy more times than the Scams have had a winning season.

Now the airline can afford to fork over a million bucks a year to the millionaire owners of the state's newest football franchise but doesn't have to worry about paying any of the back taxes it owes the taxpayers of Missouri.

So far, no one has objected too strenuously to this financial fast-dealing. It must be because neither TWA nor the St. Louis Rams has to go through the checkout line at the local supermarket.

~Jack Stapleton of Kennett is the editor of the Missouri News and Editorial Service.