LETTERS: TRY TRIAL BY ORDEAL ON LAKE ISSUE

To the editor:

I get very upset when people disagree. I hate dissension. As a result, I have been losing sleep over the ongoing controversy between opponents and proponents of a Bollinger County-Cape County lake. This issue must be settled. Laid to rest. Resolved. I have a suggestion that can bring a quick resolution to the crisis.

Rather than relying on the unpredictable Legislature, the slow-as-syrup court system or a vote of the people, many of whom might be misinformed, let's take a new approach. I say we settle the matter by a method of resolving disputes and achieving what was believed to be divine justice commonly used in the early European Middle Ages. Have what is called a trial by ordeal. Here's how it would work:

Recruit a male volunteer who is, say, a proponent of the lake project. Bind his hands and feet. Shove him (gently) into a body of water. The Capaha Park lagoon would do. Then wait.

If his body sinks but bobs back up and floats, that would be, according to medieval belief, interpreted as a sign from the gods that the proposed lake project should not proceed. Why not? The bobbing back up and floating would mean the pagan gods of the lake have rejected him and, by extension, the lake proposal.

On the other hand, if he sinks and does not resurface, that would be a sure sign that the gods have accepted his body as well as the proposal to build the lake. Excavation could begin forthwith.

Many might object to this proposed solution. They would likely say modern man is more civilized that medieval man and that the proposed method of resolving the crisis is crude, barbaric and based on silly superstition. Furthermore, critics might say a trial by ordeal has no relationship to arriving at the truth or achieving justice. Perhaps.

However, are we really any more civilized than those of 1,500 years ago? Are our institutions (the courts) any more reliable than trials by ordeal or trials by combat? Surely there is room for debate. To me, a willingness to accept the results of my proposed trial by ordeal would quickly resolve a controversy that has been dragging on for far too long. So let us proceed.

However, I conclude that I'm not positive my proposal would work. If the gods accept the proponent of building the lake and send a signal that it should be built when the proponent sinks and doesn't resurface, but standby divers fail to recover the body in time, then my idea will have been determined to have been bad. Very bad. Worse than all wet.

Oh, well. At least my proposal should be immune from being criticized on the grounds that it wasn't a bold one or that my suggested solution was, uh, too watered down.

STEVE MOSLEY

Cape Girardeau