Giving condoms to kids at school, leaving parents in dark

I remember when children were encouraged to get out and play more, work hard in school and stay out of "grown folks' business." Today, children not only grow up too quickly, but adults contribute to this acceleration.

A week ago, a San Francisco school board unanimously agreed to grant access to condoms to middle school students between the ages of 11 and 14. This policy should concern everyone.

Granted, students are not allowed to walk into an office, grab some condoms for the road and walk out -- or so we're told. They are supposedly required to have a session with a school nurse or social worker. With the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and teen pregnancy, this move is essential, we're also told.

Underneath the supposed good intentions, however, is a flawed policy. Perhaps its goal is to protect children's health and well-being, but it undermines families' well-being and the proper role of adults within those families.

Schools are educational settings, but the primary source of information should be parents. This condom policy eliminates parents from the equation. They are not allowed to opt their children out. They don't even have a right to know their children have been given birth control. The students and the school have all the rights. Children have access to this "reproductive health care" without restrictions, and parents are left in the dark.

Some parents are thrilled. They want children to be safe, and they don't mind allowing the government to raise their children and instill its values. Thank God there are parents, however, who recognize this as an infringement of their authority and worry that their children are growing up too fast -- not that they can do anything about it, but at least they have the sense to recognize the absurdity. The school apparently doesn't recognize it; this policy was, after all, a unanimous decision. How is it that not one person on that board thought this was ridiculous?

Having staff meet with children prior to giving condoms is one positive step, perhaps, but why not include the parents? School personnel may be educated, but that does not make them wise. They may be well-meaning, but that does not make them principled, and it certainly does not align them with a family's values. Too many well-educated, well-meaning professionals believe sex is natural for children, that they will do it anyway, so let the good times roll!

If parents teach their children sex is for a husband and wife, not an 11-year-old, do they want Susie and Johnny and LaQuesha handed condoms by a school employee, who may encourage acting on the temptation? Doesn't it make more sense to include parents in the process? Lest we forget, those are their children.

Furthermore, do we know that the counseling that is supposed to precede condom distribution will actually take place? We all know people who are less than meticulous in performing their duties. Call me a conspiracy theorist, but I've worked closely enough with people to know that it's not beyond the realm of possibility that on any given day, somebody may say, "There they are. Help yourself."

Yes, I realize California has no age restrictions on birth control -- not in the grocery store, not in health clinics and not in school. But middle schools in various states allow a parental opt-out. If parents cannot opt out a child, at the very least, involve them in the process. A sit-down with a school employee is required, so why not pull up a chair for a parent? Schools can't give kids an aspirin without parental permission or let them go halfway down the street on a field trip without a permission slip, but they can encourage them to go all the way sexually by providing condoms with neither parental permission nor knowledge. This makes zero sense.

Susan Philip, the sexual transmitted disease controller for the city's Department of Health, defended the policy by saying, "It really is a tailored ability (for a student) to have a conversation with someone who is knowledgeable about sexual health." Translation: "We know better than you about what is best for your child. Go sit down; we'll take it from here."

I can already hear the allegations: I don't care if kids get sexually transmitted diseases. I don't mind if they get pregnant. Wrong. I want children to be children and to know how precious their bodies are, and I want parents to be allowed to exercise their God-given authority over their own children.

We need common sense to reign. Unfortunately, it's lacking, and ironically, that dearth may be most prevalent in our educational institutions, where the adults still have so much to learn.

Adrienne Ross is an editor, writer, public speaker, online radio show host, former teacher and coach, Southeast Missourian editorial board member, and owner of Adrienne Ross Communications. Reach her at aross@semissourian.com.