Dr. Bill Terry cared enough to get involved

By Tony Smee

Sixteen years ago, Dr. Bill Terry walked into my office when I was a young professional working for the Boy Scouts of America. He didn't know me from Adam but was responding to a comment card I had completed at the recent mayor's prayer breakfast. His warm smile and comforting disposition immediately made me feel at ease.

After 20 minutes of conversation, Bill had learned enough about me to know that as a newly married young man, he could give me the guidance and the tools I would soon badly need. That guidance, and those tools, would be used to build a strong Christian-based foundation for my role as a husband and father. My family and I are forever indebted to him.

Dr. Terry introduced me to a few other young, newly married, professional men. Some I knew, and some I didn't. He organized us, and then led us, as a small group of 20-something men from various backgrounds and denominations in a regular early-morning Bible study at our offices. When he felt our group had progressed to the point where it could be self-led, he said a kind farewell and set out to counsel his next group of young men.

Although he no longer met with our small group, he and Eloise hosted us and our spouses from time to time over the next few years for various social activities and family-strengthening Bible study series. I have fond memories and close friendships to this day because of Bill's efforts.

Bill had a mission. He never wavered from that mission. He led and taught by example, sharing very personal stories of triumph and failure. I had never known anyone so passionate about sharing the personal details of their family life, motivated only by a desire to help others avoid the pitfalls he encountered and share the same joys he experienced.

He wanted to help us sow only the most fertile seeds and be able to recognize the stumbling blocks that would meet us as we grew in our relationships with our spouses and our children. He recognized that, for most of us, success in our careers was driving our daily thoughts, habits and activities. He also knew that this could be a recipe for disaster.

Bill always told us our priority should be God, then family, then everything else. The message was always the same. His greatest admonition was that we should make choices and allocate time and resources based on that recipe. Bill would always ask us, rhetorically, "Who will be crying for you at your funeral?" This was his sobering way of having us reflect on our choices.

Were we spending too many evenings and weekends golfing or hunting instead of spending it with our wives and babies? Were we working 18 hour days every day with no regard for the impact our families were feeling at home? If we knew we would die in two minutes, could we remember the last conversation we had with our family or the expression on our child's face?

Bill also loved to tell us about a study that showed the average one-on-one interaction between a father and his children averaged 15 seconds per day. Yes, you read it correctly, 15 seconds. It was a staggering thought. I've kept that with me, and as I've observed others over the last 16 years, I can see how it could be true.

Although I'm not the perfect husband or father, I've tried very hard to put Dr. Terry's guidance and admonition into practice and avoid being one of the ominous statistics he gave us. I like to think it made a significant impact on my choices and actions over the years and on the choices and actions of all people Bill came in contact with.

Whether coincidence or the result of Bill's divine intervention, the men who met with us in our original Bible study 16 years ago are all still married today and have wonderful, close-knit families. We have beaten the statistics. I'd like to think that this is a result of Bill's efforts to guide us in a very formative time in our lives. For this, we will be eternally grateful.

We love you, Bill.

Tony Smee is a Cape Girardeau resident.