Conquering coronavirus fear: It won't just go away

Lockdowns are ending as states are loosening restrictions resulting from the Chinese coronavirus. Missouri opened things up a couple of weeks ago. Some are uncomfortable or even downright fearful but are doing their best to resume activities. Then there are those who are not. It is to that latter group I speak.

“I’m just not ready,” some say regarding going back to the grocery store or church or wherever it is they have not gone in the last couple of months. I get it. I wouldn’t dare hurl condemnation at them. I do offer words of wisdom and encouragement, however, during what can best be described as difficult times.

While it is not my place to tell anyone to “get back out there now,” (Remember, I wrote early on that most people would probably not run out their front door immediately after the quarantine ended.) I will say to those who are fearful, if you’re waiting for fear to leave before you venture out, you’ll probably be waiting forever. This situation is no different from what life teaches us about any situation, and that is that fear is conquered by facing it, by looking it in eye, by declaring what Christian singer and songwriter Francesca Battistelli declares in one of her songs: “Fear, You Don’t Own Me.”

Fear has to be conquered. It doesn’t tuck its tail and run. It will latch itself to us and drag us around for the rest of our lives if we let it. “Fear” may sound like “fair,” but there’s nothing fair about it. It’s that much of a bully, so to conquer it, we have to intentionally bully the bully.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression “Do it afraid.” It’s OK not to be super comfortable getting out there. It’s definitely OK to be cautious. But it’s not OK to be paralyzed. And it’s not wise to embrace the mindset that if you wait long enough, eventually, you will feel “ready” or fearless. No, the longer you wait, the more difficult it becomes. It’s after you take a step that you find the courage to take another. That’s just how it goes. I talk often about the Law of Diminishing Intent, which states that “the longer you wait to do something you know you should do, the least likely you are to do it.” We leadership enthusiasts often apply that to investing in personal growth; personal trainers apply it to losing weight; educators apply it to studying. And it applies to the coronavirus as well. We don’t feel less frightened or become more likely to act by waiting. No, it’s the stepping out that does something within us that enables us to step out again and again, and the next thing we know, we’re breathing more easily — with or without a mask, I suppose.

Mind you, I’m not counseling anyone who has a compromised immune system and knows medically that being out and about is not wise. Actually, I’m not counseling anyone to do anything. I’m also not judging anyone or calling caution “cowardice.” Trust me: I’m a sanitizing something — and that was even before all of this started. What I’m addressing is fear, the hold it has and how to disarm it.

I’ll never forget hearing Jasmine Guy, the actress, director, singer and dancer, share her story of auditioning for the musical “Chicago.” She considered not going for it because she was afraid. But then she had an epiphany, which led her to say to herself, “Be afraid. Be afraid and do ‘Chicago.’” She realized it wasn’t one or the other. If she was afraid, OK, she was just afraid, but what did that have to do with auditioning anyway? Nothing, she came to understand.

As for me, if I had waited to feel totally comfortable going on a mission trip, I would have never gone to the mountains of Guatemala or the continent of Africa. I had to step into the unknown. Most times, we get the courage to do as we do — and then more courage after we do.

I’m not rushing anyone; I’m sharing a principle. If we’re waiting for all fear to leave before we take back our lives, we’ll probably be spending the rest of those lives waiting. God can do anything, yes. He can take fear away in an instant, but chances are, we’re not going to wake up one morning and be “ready.” Chances are, we’ll feel His strength as we take our step.

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member.