This article was submitted as part of an informational effort as a prelude to the 6th annual Healthy Lifestyles Conference, which will be held Thursday and Friday at the Show Me Center. The title of this year's conference is "Networking in Rural America: Strategies to Redu e Substance Abuse Among High Risk Youth." Marilyn Welsh of St. Francis Center for Recovery, the author of this piece, is a member of the conference's planning committee.
"This breaking of promises to my children....."
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"I thought that cocaine was God....."
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"Guilt, fear, and remorse were my daily companions....."
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"By the end of my drinking ... I had threatened patients, been drunk on duty, contemplated murder....."
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"I can do it by myself. I am more intelligent."
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"I assumed my drinking was one more symbol of neurosis."
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"I was the typical housewife `lace curtains' drunk."
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"I was insatiable, empty inside, looking for happiness at the bottom of the bottle and from a hit off a joint."
Sound familiar to you? Have you had these feelings too? Have you heard these things from someone you know and love?
These are just a few of the stories that are told everyday by women with the disease of alcoholism/chemical dependency.
Of the estimated 105 million people in the United States who drink, 94.5 million are social drinkers. The other 10.5 million are alcoholics or alcohol dependent, and of these, at least 3.5 million are female. By 1995, alcohol dependent adults will number 11.2 million, with 3.7 million of these being female.
You may ask, "But how can this be? Women are not supposed to be alcoholics and drug addicts.
American society must first educate itself on the fact that alcoholism/chemical dependency is a disease. The American Medical Association and the World Health Organization have designated alcoholism a disease. There are symptoms, there is progression, and for a large percentage of those who continue to drink excessively, the outcome will be premature death - a lifespan 10 to 12 years shorter than average.
Eventually alcoholism involves both addiction and compulsion. Addiction means that when alcohol is withdrawn the drinker experiences some extremely unpleasant symptoms, which can include restlessness, insomnia, dry heaves, irritability, chills, palpitations, tremors, and, in more extreme cases, convulsions and hallucinations. Compulsion means that in spite of the discomfort or hangover and withdrawal and the enormous cost in shame and in physical, personal, marital, and family disruption, the drinker is compelled to drink over and over again. This pattern of addiction and compulsion is the same whether the person is using alcohol, prescription drugs, marijuana, cocaine or other drugs.
For clarification in our discussion, wherever alcohol or alcoholism is mentioned, drugs or drug addiction can be substituted in its place; the disease is the same. The addicted woman, some experts observe, bears a double burden. She not only suffers the stigma of drinking and using, but is looked upon as more of a moral transgressor than the addicted man. Feeling society's condemnation, she is frightened and ashamed.
She is frightened by her inability to control her drinking and fearful people will find out about it. She is afraid she cannot stop and not sure she could live if she did. She has a disease that she feels is a disgrace. She desperately needs help, but she's afraid to reach out for it - to do so would expose what she has struggled so hard to conceal. She is afraid her children will reject her. She is afraid her husband will divorce her. She worries that her employer will fire her and her friends abandon her. She feels her doctor may refuse to treat her.
She may be your sister, mother, daughter, your wife, your neighbor, your coworker, maybe even you. She did not choose to become an alcoholic or drug addict. Once she could drink or use with control. There was a time when alcohol or drugs served her well: as a social lubricant, to anesthetize physical or emotional pain, to neutralize anger, to relieve boredom. A few drinks or pills could make her feel prettier, smarter, more exciting, more competent. But that time has passed. Alcohol and drugs, which once served her, are now master and she can no longer control how much she will drink or use once she starts.
The most important fact to keep in mind is that alcoholism/chemical dependency is a treatable illness and it can be arrested. Recovery begins with confronting the dependent woman with the fact that she has a disease and moves on toward her acceptance of that fact. Acceptance is an ongoing process. It is not painless and is most likely to succeed in an atmosphere of warmth.
Recovery is usually achieved with the help of a "significant other" or others. This may be a member of the clergy, a physician, family counselor, social worker, psychologist, psychiatrist, therapy group, Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous. Not everyone is receptive to the same approach. Whatever works is good. It is important to substitute something for alcohol and drugs - and the substitute can be the treatment method itself.
The road to recovery may not be a direct path. Some chemical dependents take one step forward and two steps back. It is not easy to stop drinking or using. The motivation to stop may rest on cumulative experiences, a friend's concerned confrontation, an employer's expressed awareness of decreased efficiency, a frightening blackout, a child's tearful questioning, a therapist's relating symptoms to drinking, a physician's diagnosis. The pieces begin to fit together and the picture becomes convincingly clear.
There is hope and a new way of life. The St. Francis Center for Recovery can help make the pieces fit together and help make the changes happen. Help is available 24 Hours a day. For more information about the Center for Recovery and out treatment programs call 1-800-321-5335.
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