AGE OF LEISURE? PEOPLE HAVE TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS

This is supposed to be the age of leisure, right? There are more computers to do work for us. There are more devices to make our lives easier. We can unabashedly wear sweat suits in places other than a locker room.

Okay, so ask yourself these questions: Do you feel less put upon today than you did 10 years ago? Do you feel more relaxed? Do you have a lot of time on your hands?

The world is more complicated, which is a kinder and gentler (by the way, where did that concept go?) way of saying life is getting progressively stranger.

Things change quickly. A year ago, Mikhail Gorbachev presided over the Soviet Union and Boris Yeltsin was another guy with a taste for vodka.

Now, Gorbachev is a defunct politician, as washed up as Walter Mondale, and Yeltsin is putting together a commonwealth like he's playing with a Lego set.

It can't be the time of year, this being the merriest season, but people are having trouble getting along.

Of course, Gorby and Boris have always had trouble seeing eye to eye. But what's the story in Seattle, where the heirs of long-dead Janis Joplin are raising hell with producers of a play based on her life?

A judge ruled Monday that the kinfolk, wanting to block production of the play, did not own exclusive rights to Joplin's "persona."

I wonder if my descendants, two decades after I die, will be wrest~ling in the courts over my persona. Maybe if I develop a husky voice and die of a heroin overdose, things will work out for them.

Even Norman Schwarzkopf, who is finding celebrity a much tougher thing to deal with than the Iraqi armed forces, is having a trying yule season.

Oliver North took the liberty of using Schwarzkopf's name and photograph on a fundraising letter without bothering to get the retired general's permission. North, a retired lieutenant colonel who told the nation numerous times of his talent for following orders, should have known better.

Stormin' Norman, a hot property in renown and demeanor, stopped short of dispatching a tank brigade to North's farm. He did, however, set a squadron of lawyers to work stopping the solicitation. Janet Joplin's relatives, after all, aren't the only ones who worry about ~persona.

At least Ollie managed to stay within the law, if not within the general's good graces. That's more than you can say for Bob Kerrey, U.S. senator and presidential candidate. He founded and owns a restaurant chain in Nebraska that was cited Tuesday for 116 violations of child labor laws.

It's not like he was running a sweat shop; the 14- and 15-year-olds were working too long and too late. Still, Kerrey has run afoul this year of hawks, lesbian groups and now children's advocates, and it's hard to figure out what kind of constituency he is carving for himself.

Though keeping kids from a good night's sleep, at least the management at Kerrey's restaurants weren't taking the stern measures implemented in St. Louis County. A restaurant manager there, trying to dissuade employees from sucking down so many soft drinks while on duty, put bleach in a worker's iced tea.

The employee was rushed to a hospital with a burned esophagus. As a management style, I don't think this holds much promise. Arguably, it is effective; workers will give more thought to the time they spend sipping drinks on the job. Consider, though, that Mussolini made the trains run on time and still came to a bad end.

If there is a common thread in all this strangeness, it is that most of the principle players are, or soon will be, out of a job. Kerrey remains in the Senate and Yeltsin presides over a country that grows or shrinks depending on the latest set of Russian meetings.

Maybe this is the age of leisure ... and the people involved in weird stories have too much time on their hands.