A winter's tale

Meteorological winter.

That's what KFVS12's Bob Reeves, the most trusted name in weather, calls the cold spell that comes before winter officially arrives Dec. 21.

I am not a winter person. Which is why I have started going to work long before dawn just so I can see daylight on the way home.

Less sunshine, thanks to the way our planet tilts on its axis, brings more cold. And more cold brings more snow, ice, sleet and slush. I do not count any of those frigid visitors as my friend.

Last weekend my wife and I were visiting with older son on the phone, and I said I was trying to find some "perfect place," I define a perfect place as one that doesn't have tornadoes, earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, monsoons, floods, snow, ice storms, mudslides or wildfires.

To the best of my knowledge, such a place free of natural disasters doesn't exist. And if it did, you'd still have to put up with intolerance, bigotry, elitism, rudeness, narrow minds, politicians, road rage, taxation, crime, aging and newspaper columnists.

Makes a Missouri winter -- meteorological or otherwise -- seem positively delightful, doesn't it?

Coping with cold weather these days is fairly easy, thanks to central heating, hot water heaters, garages, frost-removing windshield sprays, gloves developed by NASA scientists, warm socks, ear muffs and tasty hot beverages.

That's a far cry from the days when trips to the farm pond to go ice skating meant carrying steaming baked potatoes to keep warm.

By the way, I found out about some new windshield de-icers this week while shopping for the only item on younger son's birthday/Christmas wish list: a windshield scraper.

He lives in Dublin and earlier this year bought a car, which he now drives to and from work after switching employers recently.

Dublin doesn't get much snow and ice, but it does get frost. Younger son said he scoured several Dublin hardware stores looking for a plain, ordinary two-buck plastic ice scraper, but he only found puzzled looks from store clerks.

I went off to one of the auto-supply stores here to pick up an ice scraper to send to him. A salesman pointed out the spray stuff, which he claimed was great. My problem was how to send a bottled liquid to Dublin with any real expectation it would arrive intact or pass muster with anti-terror inspectors.

So I spent $3 for a scraper with a cushy handle and suggested to my wife that we should throw some beef jerky and Nutter Butter cookies, either unavailable or unaffordable in Ireland, in the package.

I merrily headed for one of the outlets that box and deliver packages, stopping at a store that not only had both the jerky and the cookies, but also a helpful clerk who swiftly directed me to the proper aisles.

At the parcel-delivery store, I had the manager box up the goodies. The delivery costs, she said, would range from $54 to well over three figures, depending on how quickly I wanted the package delivered. For a box whose contents represented a total cash outlay of $15, I picked the $54 "Whenever" option.

He's our son, after all, so I handed over my credit card.

When I got back in the car, somewhat satisfied at what I had accomplished, I noticed the sunlight glinting off something in the passenger seat. It was the ice scraper. I dashed back across the parking lot, wondering if I would need a second mortgage to add a couple of ounces to the package. "Not a problem," said the store manager.

Was she smiling because of my forgetfulness? Or because selling high-cost delivery service is so easy when parents are separated by long distances from their children? Either way, I had made someone happy. And that's a good feeling.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editorial page editor of the Southeast Missourian. E-mail: jsullivan@semissourian.com.