MISSOURIANA

Remember when Christmases were so old-fashioned that no one even worried about how to dispose of the tree and the non-recyclable wrapping paper?

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President-elect Clinton receives praise for holding an economic summit, probably because no one understands a word any of the experts said.

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If you're a Republican lawyer who participated in Second Injury Fund claims, you probably weren't sure whether that fellow knocking at your door was Santa Claus or a U.S. marshal bearing a subpoena.

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Several state officials voice the opinion that some agency other than the Division of Tourism should regulate riverboat gambling. Maybe the office that oversees bankruptcies?

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There are so many family arguments at Christmas that perhaps we should exchange Santa Claus for Judge Wampler.