LETTERS: PARENT MUST TAKE A STAND

To the editor:

Thank you, Judge Knowlan, for your honest and bold letter to the editor (Feb. 24). You were right when you write: "Adult-supervised teen-age drinking has become the rule rather than the exception." If anything, Mr. Knowlan has understated the problem of underage drinking in our community (and one might also add tobacco use). He also didn't mention what I have heard is another common problem at teen parties: the use of marijuana and perhaps even other controlled substances. These substances are illegal and habit-forming. They may also be lethal when drinking leads to altered thinking and reflexes or to the mixing of alcohol with other things, including driving. I know from experience that homes are sought where parents are out of town or even out for the evening so that teens can get away with these practices.

This response come from the heart of a 16-year-old and a 17-year-old. When are we parents going to stand up for what is right for our kids and not just shrug our shoulders and say, "They're just going to do it anyway -- what can we do?" I strongly believe that if we stand together in agreement with other parents, we can do much.

We can and must love our kids and keep communicating with them and building trust. But there is still a right and a wrong. We must enforce the standard of zero tolerance, not just at school, but in every home. That way all our teens face the same expectations communitywide. Parents must first make the decision that they are committed to zero tolerance, even on (especially on) weekends. Stay around the house if need be. Stay alert. Lock up your liquor cabinet if you have one. We must be willing to call up to friends' houses and check on our teens, even our good kids. If there's nothing to hide, no problem, right? Are our kids where they said they would be? We might even go so far as to show up at a front door to be sure that they are. We might even have to stretch ourselves to confront other parents, even though that is socially unpopular.

Is it worth the life or health of this teen-ager whom we have raised and loved from birth? Is it worth doing all we can to help them through the whitewater rapids of adolescence that they might reach their God-given potential?

CYNTHIA FLETCHER

Cape Girardeau