Kavanaugh 'crime' lesson: hurting people hurt people

"Hurting people hurt people." I first heard this years ago in the church. It was true then, and it is no less true today. I've seen it play out often, and the political upheaval we see today highlights it.

Unless you are completely disengaged from what is going on in the nation (and if you were, you wouldn't be reading this right now), you see the ongoing shenanigans surrounding the confirmation of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. I told you last week it wasn't going to end. Two years later, Hillary Clinton hasn't stopped whining about her embarrassing loss to President Trump, and nearly two weeks later, KavaNOPE folks haven't stopped their quest to bind the man, throw him in the water and watch him sink -- which is about the only thing still undone in this witch trial.

I shake my head as I see people demanding Kavanaugh's head; they're carrying signs, screaming, insulting. I cannot for the life of me figure out their rationale. I mean, there was absolutely no evidence to deny him the Supreme Court, much less ascribe guilt for the heinous crimes of which he was accused. So who in their right minds would demand he be tarred and feathered? It makes no sense -- unless you understand the quote with which I began: "Hurting people hurt people."

Sadly, many women have been used and abused by evil men. They have suffered the loss of innocence and trust. Their jobs, relationships and decisions have all been influenced by someone who violated them, who forced himself on them -- who hurt them. In my insistence that there is no evidence against Kavanaugh and awareness that some men are falsely accused, in no way do I mock real abuse. In no way do I deny it. It happens.

But I also know that hurting people who do not receive healing -- emotional and spiritual healing, not just physical -- often want someone -- anyone -- to pay for their pain. Some have been so deeply damaged that anyone who is accused is guilty. Any accusation is true. And anyone must suffer. The thought of someone getting away with such abuses puts them on a mission to take down the accused.

This response isn't reserved for sexual abuse sufferers. Nor is it reserved for women. Both men and women who have been deeply wounded, who have dealt with betrayal of all kinds -- severe disappointment, abandonment, rejection -- fall into this. Often, we have no idea the hurt exists, until something sparks it.

On the outside, everything looks fine, but get close enough to the sore spot, and they cry out. It's like an arm that had a cast removed prematurely. It looks healed, but let someone bang into it, and the person screams. It's like the man in a relationship with the love of his life, who lambasts him for his innocent comments. He cannot figure out what sets her off. The truth is, she's looking at him and yelling, but she's not actually yelling at him; she's yelling at those who came before him, who did her dirty. Nonetheless, he pays the price because her heart is not yet healed.

None of us is exempt from this, which is why we must be healed. When healing occurs, not only do we benefit, but so does everyone who comes into contact with us. "Hurting people hurt people" is something I learned through the wisdom of spiritual leaders, but I also learned something equally true: "People who have been hurt much, God uses much." Being hurt doesn't disqualify us from being useful to God and to those around us. In fact, it often opens us up and enables us to reach out to others with empathy and compassion to help them become whole -- but only if we allow God to make us whole. He takes some of the most bruised people and uses them to help others heal once they choose to get better and not bitter, to forgive and release. What they went through is not their fault, but how they respond is their choice. It doesn't matter that the other person "doesn't deserve to be forgiven." Remember, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself -- and a gift that the Kavanaughs of the world benefit from also.

Are some who have it in for Kavanaugh just disgruntled ultra-partisans? Sure. Are some of them Never Trumpers? Absolutely. Are some bought-and-paid-for operatives -- literally? You know the answer. But some are, in fact, hurting people who hear a charge of sexual assault or gang rape and don't have the capacity to reason or look at the facts -- or see them clearly even if they did look at them. Their hurt has blinded them. And until they get healed, they will forever want one person to pay for something another person did.

But there is good news: I have learned in my faith journey that it is never too late. Luke 4:18 says, "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised." Yes, hurting people do hurt people, but no one has to remain in that condition. And why would we -- when we can be healed today?

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member. Contact her at aross@semissourian.com.