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August 13, 2002

New Study Says 18% Of People Named Rachael Are Psychotic! By W. Ackerman According to a Norwegian researcher, 18% of people with the name Rachael show signs of psychosis. The report published last month by, Dr. Noel Heinrichsen states that the initial goal for this investigation was to prove once and for all that his girlfriend was not eccentric, but, indeed crazy...

New Study Says 18% Of People Named Rachael Are Psychotic!

By W. Ackerman

According to a Norwegian researcher, 18% of people with the name Rachael show signs of psychosis.

The report published last month by, Dr. Noel Heinrichsen states that the initial goal for this investigation was to prove once and for all that his girlfriend was not eccentric, but, indeed crazy.

Dr. Heinrichsen, assembled a renowned psychological research team to randomly find 300 women of random ages, height, ethnicity and economic status with the name Rachael to participate in the study.

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In addition, another 300 people were found using the same criteria for the names Noel, William, Alexander, Holly and Peter to test the same theory on the research teams names to prevent any bias from appearing when the results would finally be shown to Dr Heinrichsen's girlfriend.

Based on current trends of diagnosis of psychosis, none of the named groups showed any signs of mental instability, however, it was discovered over the course of the study that 18% of subjects in the Rachael test group were indeed Psychotic.

For the first third of the study, none of the subjects showed any signs of psychosis. However, shortly thereafter, the researchers began to notice something in the Rachael test group.

Seven percent exhibited signs of hallucinations, eight percent had delusions, two percent showed fits of rage, with an additional percent exhibiting paranoid thoughts over the two year study.

When asked what did his findings tell him about his girlfriend, Dr. Heinrichsen stated, "The conclusion is conclusive that his girlfriend is indeed, not eccentric, but crazy."

Dr. Heinrichsen's girlfriend was unavailable for comment.

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