What's missing in 'Miss March'? Any redeeming quality

I quite happily get to pick the films I review. So with a little bit of research ahead of time, the films I choose usually have something going for them. They'll have at least some redeeming quality I can relate to readers.

There are weeks, though, where the serious filmgoer has no real choice. Shall it be "Race to Witch Mountain" with the Rock?

Or the horror film "Last House on the Left," where within minutes of the opening credits a father rapes his daughter and leaves her for dead?

Or should it be "Miss March," a silly comedy made by two goofballs who made a name for themselves posting skits on YouTube?

"Miss March" seemed the least disagreeable.

It's only March, but I'll go ahead and declare "Miss March" one of the worst films of the year.

The direction is non-existent. The acting is embarrassing. The camera work and lighting is uninspired and pedestrian. The production design is amateur hour.

And the writing was stunningly, preteen think-you-know-more-than-you-do, jaw-droppingly bad.

But before you think I might be over the top in my criticism, take a look at this quote from a Toronto Star article interviewing co-director and writer Zach Cregger. He said the premise of the film did not particularly grab him. "I was actually turned off by the idea initially of like a sex road trip, losing virginity movie, but I'm glad now because we took it as kind of a challenge," Cregger said. His partner, Trevor Moore, added, "Yeah, it became a cool writing exercise."

A little later in the article the filmmakers expressed surprise that Fox studios offered them so much money to make a film. They weren't looking to make one and had no real idea how to make one.

Leave it to the bipolar Fox to put out junk like this. On one hand the news network wags its finger at Hollywood and the state of modern art, and on the other hand its network channel and film studio are the worst suppliers.

But what is "Miss March" about? Here's the official blurb: "A young man awakens from a four-year coma to hear that his once virginal high-school sweetheart has since become a centerfold in one of the world's most famous men's magazines. He and his sex-crazed best friend decide to take a cross-country road trip in order to crash a party at the magazine's legendary mansion headquarters and win back the girl."

But really it's about the breasts, cheap sex gags and all manner of genitalia and defecation.