The Soundtrack to a Killer Road Trip

By Cory Allen, MIX 96.5

I was just attacked by the season's first mosquito, my "official" sign that winter is over. Being a Christian, I believe in the Bible and all, except the whole Noah part. If all creatures were truly brought on the ark, male and female, surely he would have swatted those two little bloodsuckers. I hate bugs with no purpose.

Another annoying and pointless bug, those stupid "June" bugs. At least that's what I've always called them, the beetles that pop up this time every year tapping around your window or screen doors, buzzing as loudly as a clogged up John Deere. They're ugly, creepy, crunchy and if you meet one on your Harley Davidson, chances are you are unconscious. Another reason to wear a helmet.

So warmer weather is here and despite the bugs, it's time to get out and truly enjoy the outdoors. This means putting down the Playstation controller for a few days and taking to the road with a few buds for one of life's true joys, a road trip. Make sure you save your game of course.

Ah, the road trip. A journey to no particular place with whoever bringing whatever and getting back whenever. Where the world is one big playpen, and cops, jail, redneck bars, bad beer and mooning truckers are just par for the obstacle course. No sense of urgency, no sense of guilt and well, hell, no sense! A little bit of time and a little bit of gas, and you are on your way on the adventure of a lifetime. Or a least a few, "remember that time," stories.

Road tripping should be an Olympic sport, kind of like "The Great Race". Four groups of four people take off in a Skylark to see who can pile the most meaningless experiences into a trip from Cape Girardeau to Cape Cod. For the winners, not gold, silver or bronze, but Blue Ribbon all night at their favorite watering hole (by the way, NBC, if there's a show like that in the works, I'm in).

Just as important to a road trip as gasoline and bail money is the music you play. After all, your trip needs a soundtrack. Make no mistake; you're going to remember what was playing when you entice the girls in the car next to you to flash you as you run off the road into a cornfield. So as a public service, I present ten albums you can't leave behind on a road trip.

1. Guns 'n Roses-Appetite For Destruction. In the movie Road Trip, the guys are seen jamming out to Twisted Sister. Right idea, eighties rock is good. Only problem is nobody ever listened to Twisted Sister, much less today. Appetite will never die, and at least one "Paradise City" headbanging sing-along is mandatory.

2. AC/DC-Back in Black. Just listening will make your crew feel like badasses, and when you encounter the Hell's Angels just outside of Memphis, you'll have a conversation piece. Hopefully a brief one.

3. Metallica-Master of Puppets. Most fans would pick the "Black Album". Not a bad choice, but the songs are longer on "Puppets", including an instrumental. Just push play, you can't go wrong.

4. Dr. Dre-The Chronic- Finally a rap album with beats to make your head bounce and lyrics even white boys can flow to. I have the album memorized, and I understand exactly 22 seconds of what Snoop and Dre are talking about.

5. US 3-Hand on the Torch. This album is just funky. Put on the shades and cruise to this jazzy, cheesy-rap masterpiece. Everything in life seems to move to the beat. The same goes for anything by a Tribe Called Quest. Just bob your head and shut up, I'm not stopping so you can pee.

6. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince-Greatest Hits. Every song is about summer, being young, women, good times or all of these. Good clean fun. Besides, isn't the language coming from the drivers you cut off on the interstate enough?

7. Rage Against the Machine-self titled. For when you get pulled over. Damn the man! Let's revolt!

8. Tim McGraw-All I Want. I don't care if you don't like country music, if you pull into a truck stop and fill up with Slayer playing at full blast, that nozzle may end up in YOUR tailpipe. Appreciate the truckers and they'll appreciate you. Until you moon them. Mandatory.

9. Crystal Method-Tweekend. "Trippy" music. Enough said.

10. Counting Crows-August and Everything After. One of my favorite bands, the perfect any-mood album. Also good for the trip back home, when everyone's quiet sleepy and hung over. What do you mean you're not hung over? Turn the car around....