Speak Easy

By John Wyman

The latest and greatest

One of the functions of this monthly column is to keep OFF readers abreast of trends in adult beverages. In past issues I have discussed most of the major categories of liquor, and although we still have a ways to go with wine, I would like to write this month about a major breakthrough in the production of hard liquor.

In the past it has been necessary to stock a drink-selling establishment with a number of different and expensive bottles. You never know when a customer will request a little-known single malt scotch, or the newest vodka, or even the latest gin that tastes like a vodka. Because informed consumers have such diverse tastes, about 120 different brands of alcohol are required to outfit a well-stocked back bar. The space requirements for display and secure storage, not to mention the cash invested, of these bottles is tremendous. It was surely only a matter of time before an adequate alternative hit the market.

An alternative? What, to a well-stocked back bar with a multitude of enticing brands? Yes. Serve-Pro, the Los Angeles-based research arm of International Beverage has perfected a dispensing unit that can mimic the taste and texture of 175 different types of liquors and liqueurs. By the year 2002 they claim that their unit will be able to accurately reproduce up to 400 types of distilled beverages. That's a lot!

Test marketed in Cancun, Mexico, and Chicago, Ill., this machine has proven to be a big hit with establishment owners and consumers alike. I was able to witness a deluxe unit in action at the Reflecting Mango cafe, an up-scale eatery in the Lincoln Park District of Chicago. My first impression of the unit was positive. The Serve-Pro designers created an intricate machine of brass and copper with a maze of colored tubing that radiated from a central core.

Overall dimensions were approximately 4 feet by 7 feet, but I understand that they make two smaller sizes for compact locations. An impromptu demonstration by the MOD revealed that the complicated design is really just a ploy to catch the customer's attention. The real working parts of the machine are located in the central core, or main body of the unit, and consists ofa 5-gallon tank, similar to the type used in the average water cooler (which holds a neutral spirit to serve as a base for all reproductions), and 20 small vials of extracts, coloring agents and thickeners. With these 20 additives, all highly concentrated and connected with high-pressure pumps to a stainless steel mixing cylinder, Serve-Pro can fake your favorite brands.

From a dispensing unit on the front bar, controlled by a lap-top computer running voice-recognition software, I was able to sample Serve-Pro's equivalent of Pinch scotch, one of my many favorites, and was completely satisfied with both taste and color. Subsequent samples of Cabo Wabo tequila, Tanqueray gin and Makers Mark whisky were fabulous and I realized that this machine has real merit. Because a neutral grain spirit is used as a base, the resulting product is very inexpensive. Even though the Reflecting Mango is a pricey hot spot, mixed drinks were a flat $1.50 each.

Priced reasonably, about $40,000 for a deluxe unit, I can easily see this machine capturing the market, completely eliminating the need for awkward bottles altogether. I certainly was sold and if not for a three-month backlog in production, I would already have my units installed. Instead, look for the Serve-Pro deluxe in both Mollie's and the N' Orleans about the first of July. See you then!

Remember, alcoholic beverages are best when consumed after your 21st birthday.