Skinny Nofun

Skinny Nofun's much anticipated December Commentary/Consumer Bulletin/PSA

12-4-2000

Java-Lover's Gift List Dos and Don'ts

Well year-end clearance time for your wallet is fast approaching, and that means that it's time for me to give you my special gift a few days early. Now, my gift isn't for everyone, but a precious few of you might find it worth having. For today I give you some well-thought advice on fulfilling a coffee-lover's wish list! Since pricing is important to all, this list will be broken down into some logical ranges. We'll start with the universally affordable ($5-$15) and, mostly for fun, work our way to the borderline exotic ($7,500-$15,000).

$5-$15

The best gifts in the entry range are probably whole bean coffee, a book on gourmet coffee preparation, or a subscription to a coffee/specialty drinks magazine. I recommend whole bean coffee over ground for two reasons. One, whole bean will always deliver a fresher flavor, because it is ground immediately before brewing. And two, whole bean coffee will outlive pre-ground in storage, meaning that you can buy it a week or so before the day it is to be given, instead of the day before.

Books and magazine subscriptions are actually quite cool for that someone who really digs coffee. A book can really make a lasting impact in someone's understanding of the subject, and the subscription is the, to quote Randy Quaid in NL's Christmas Vacation, "gift that keeps on givin'" all year for the recipient. These gifts present opportunities for the coffee lover to expand hers/his enjoyment of the beverage.

$15-$30

Next up would be an entry level burr grinder, like the one I described last month, an assortment of whole bean coffees, or perhaps a basket mix of a coffee and some complimentary items. Again, just be sure to make your money count-don't waste it on a blade-type grinder. Also beware of slow drip coffee makers, you can get them for $9.96, but they're, well...crappy. (Hold out for a speed-pouring model, ask your retailer for details.)

$30-$100

You have some options at this range. You can get someone a great speed-pouring coffee maker to replace his or her slow drip model. This will brighten their mornings in two ways: faster coffee, and better-brewed flavor. Mr. Coffee and Bunn make these machines right around this price range. The Bunn models cost more (typically start at $99), but they are more durable and closely model the commercial standard for the gourmet drip coffee brewers used in great cafés across the U.S. Otherwise, go with a $25-$35 burr grinder (think La Pavoni!), and maybe add some coffee $10-$20 to grind in it, and then maybe even add that Mr. Coffee model coffee maker $35-$45 to round out the picture...what an excellent $85ish gift for that special someone!

$100-$300

At this point, the person that you are shopping for is probably pretty high on your list. So, get them something that will remind them of you daily. A top-end speed-pouring coffee maker (Bunn's office/commercial models) will be an asset to your java-lover for years to come. They are ultra quick and easy to use. Some can even be plumbed like an icemaker so that all you have to do is place fresh-ground coffee in the basket and press "start"-four minutes later you have 12 cups of coffee. The espresso machine market is shaky in this price range. At the $300 line, you start to see the good options open up. Nevertheless, be on the lookout for those crazy sales...you might snag a $350 machine for $275 or so, and that would be fantastic.

The top half of this range is home to some of the better burr grinders available for non-commercial use. The prices do vary widely, though. Furthermore, grinders of this caliber require some degree of maintenance to work well; make sure there is a competent warranty included in the price.

$300-$1,000

We're approaching "Wow!" territory in the coffee zone. You can snag a great burr grinder and/or shot-doser at this point. The shot-doser is nifty/essential for properly regulating the amount of coffee grind used in making espresso drinks. Be careful though, a shot-doser renders a burr grinder practically useless for drip coffee making, because it is unnecessarily difficult to get the coffee from the doser to your coffee basket without some type of adapter.

Snag a very good espresso machine in the upper two-thirds of this range. For the best pours, go for a semi or fully automatic model -the manual ones take some time to use, and may be forgotten before their value is recognized.

$1,000-$7,500

This is pretty much "WOW!" territory for all practical reasons. You can get the best home models of coffee machines, grinders, and espresso machines in this range. Further, the sophisticated shopper can score some outstanding, full-blown commercial new and used machines in the upper third of band. Hey, if you're in the $5,000 market, get a good, used, plumbed commercial espresso machine and a grinder/doser. Your recipient will have endless fun making every coffee drink possible, and doing it well. Things to remember in this range: You can buy a car for the same money...think about your purchase carefully.

$7,500-$15,000

WOW! You're giving no one a gift this range! But if you did, you could get the finest commercial machines possible, brand new. The recipient damn well better like coffee, though. Otherwise, you've just thrown away a new Kia Rio or two. (But on the bright side, you could run the neighbor's kids' lemonade stand completely out of business with your 5-cent latte bar!)

There you have my picks for the coffee lover's gift list. See you next year!